Sexual Health and Sensual Wellness

The title of today's article is more straightforward than usual, and that is an intentional nod to the need for people to be straightforward in considering and caring for their own sexuality. Honor yourself as a sexual being of some sort. I'm not about to try to define or limit what that is for you.

As individuals, we are each of us a unique set of desires and wishes, fantasies and motivations. Your gender identity, your sexual contacts, your sensual expressions notwithstanding, there is also a little matter of what smokes your shorts, what turns you off, what's safe and what's available, what's not at all worth it and what now looking back was a mistake.... All this makes it seem, and perhaps rightly so, that human sexuality is a many splendored and highly complex topic. However that shouldn't stop anyone from owning and enjoying their own. And speaking of it in the matter of fact tone it deserves as an integral component of you being a person.

So, whether your currently express your sensual side by sleeping on silk sheets all by your lonesome, or whether you are madly hot for your wife and can hardly hold yourself back, or whether you are a porn star or a contentious abstainer, fine fine fine... just know your own self and apply appropriate guidelines and boundaries according to your own heart and soul. And if you're not experienced or confident enough to do that, will you at least take care of your own sexuality by reading up on it a little?

Here are some leads to help you educate yourself instinctively and intellectually on the deep topic of booty and gettin' some. Or not. Same thing with babies, sexually transmitted diseases, and boyfriends. Some things will work better for you than others.

Pick One Thing: Sexuality

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)offers a host of topics on their website under the heading "Sexual Health." I like that. They provide a definition based on one adopted several years ago by the World Health Organization:

Sexual health is a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence.

I like that too. Covers all manner of makin' whoopie, from the consenting, adult perspective. If you Pick One Thing to focus on regarding you sexual health, I would use this definition to do an honest assessment of this part of your being. I know, I, for one, have not always experienced optimum sexual health. Not because of disease or dysfunction, but because of poor choices or disregard for my real feelings. I was younger than then now, of course, but for many people, life stages bring all sorts of challenges and new information to consider when it comes to sexuality.

The World Health Organization (WHO) offers a global view with research studies and publications to help broaden your view of all the things that might affect you, or be important to you or someone you know, concerning sexual AND reproductive health.

Reproduction is a whole other element of sexual health that many people I know have worked very hard on. We can see, the medical field and researchers are clearly on it. Healthcare understands that people want healthy pregnancies and babies. If this is your current quest, you probably already know as much as many of the doctors advising you. It can be almost all-consuming to some folks. But it's important. So, I share with all of you, this website, which I hope you'll find of interest or pass it on: WHO Sexual and Reproductive Health

And finally, there's Sensuality. For some of us, this will be easier. For others, clues will be required. That's alright, there's no one kind of sensuality. Look at the word. The root word is sense. You've got senses; you know what smells great to you, what tastes divine, what feels like heaven and looks like a dream. Whatever makes you feel fabulous, that's your sensuality right there, and that's why each person's is unique. You scratch my back, I'll tickle your feet...that sort of thing, there's something for everyone. It's nice when you're aware of your own.

Sensuality is an extension of the senses we all have, but as an outpost, it can sometimes be diminished, overlooked, neglected or forgotten about all too easily. Go out there this week and visit with yours, okay? Red pumps or red lips or a redhead; or a big bowl of romance topped with red sauce and meatballs.

Don't limit your view or label your expectations. Sensuality isn't as difficult as many people make it: whatever it is to you, it's already in there. Here's a terrific read on the topic on the Beautiful Women blog. (Men will get something out of it, too.) I've always said, "We choose to be inspired." I could add, "We choose to be aroused." Wellness includes all your senses. Enjoy yourself.

Treasure Pleasure

When it comes to enjoying yourself, there's no time like the present. Pleasures are essential ingredients in every day life. In the midst of suffering as much as in the midst of reverie. You cannot go another day without making sure you extract some pleasure out of it if you are to benefit at all from Project Pick One Thing. Pick Pleasure, now, today, I mean it. It's that important.

Not feeling very inspired toward pleasure-picking? I understand. Sometimes we get into such a rut that it's tough to see up and outta there, into the zone where things are sweet or fun or luxurious or resplendent or humorous. If illness or money worries or bad weather or the bogey man has got you down, let me help you with a few simple tips for creating a pleasing moment.

• There's a little fat book called, 14,000 Things To Be Happy About. If you can't think of a way to take pleasure in each day, try looking at that book. Surely 14,000 things is enough to get you started on a list of your own.
• Actually, there are many notable books on pleasure. Do an online search or scope out the topic at the library. Beyond the emotional and biological, there is the social aspect of pleasure, too. There are entire cultures who practice pleasure, on purpose, as a life principal. Forget the psychoanalysts on this one. Look for books on island culture, or hedonism, or Costa Rica or Denmark. The latter two countries are mentioned because they've been found to be the happiest people, by their own measure and admission. Here's an article to point you in the right direction: The Happiest People
• Sense pleasure. Taste something delicious, smell something wonderful, feel something soothing, look at something beautiful, listen to something that rocks. Most of us have a pleasure around every corner in our homes, just waiting to be enjoyed--a cold crisp tart apple, a fresh pot of coffee, a bit of art or photo album, an old recording, a buried pair of pajama bottoms so well-worn your knee marks show through them. ahhhh.
• Name names. Call an old friend who makes you laugh. Read your favorite author, again. Watch your favorite movie star. Cook a recipe from your favorite chef. Write a letter to your grandchild. Thank the grocery bagger by name. You can always take pleasure in people.
• Don't set limits or expectations. YOU decide what pleases you. It doesn't have to be big, small, fancy or humble. It need not take long nor do you have to cram it in fast. Pleasure is whatever works to make you smile, breathe, take it in, sigh, relax, or let it out. What you enjoy is a big part of what makes your life worth living.

"What we have once enjoyed, we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us." --Helen Keller

This is why, as you Pick One Thing, you must pick Pleasure. It is how you come to own your life. We must master the art of creating, finding, and claiming pleasurable experiences for ourselves, every day. If we don't, our day can only range from benign and mediocre to miserable and distressed. What kind of person would knowingly choose that, when pleasure is always possible, always ripe for the picking?

A very displeased one. Don't evereverever let that be you. Pick one bit of something you love, every day. It makes you better, and in turn, you make the world a better place, when you enjoy. When you are taking care of pleasing yourself, it's nice for the rest of us to not have you walking around cranky, bitter, exhausted, sad or worse.

(P.S. Save the wink winking and ooh la las about sexy pleasuring till next time, when we'll be Picking your Sexuality for the next post.)

You Can Do What You Want, Simple As That

This might be the absolute easiest One Thing I could write about for you to Pick. If you’re going to honor and take care of something about yourself, what could be a simpler project than choosing what you do? It’s harder to pick your job, your home, and your friends, than it is to pick your activities. It’s much harder still to pick your family or your economic status or your looks, given how much of those things are (at least partially) outside of your control. But how to occupy your time? Other than your favorite moral and legal obligations, that’s pretty much up to you.

Your Activities
So let’s keep this project simple. Answer some basic questions and we’ll have a laundry list of activities that are worth your consideration. Don’t dwell too long or think too deep--just answer off the cuff, from the heart. You’re not committing to anything at this point, don’t worry. You can say the same answer more than once, or not. You can not have an answer, or you can have several. It’s you, talking about you. No wrong responses.

1. What do you like to do?
2. What have you always enjoyed, since childhood?
3. If you weren’t limited by time pressures, what would you like to do, or do more of?
4. What have you always wanted to try?
5. What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
6. What would you do if you only had the talent (or body or money) for it?
7. If you had a whole day to spend on only your own desires, with no restrictions and no one needing you for any reason, what would you do with that day?
8. If you had to pick one thing to do today that was completely enjoyable for you, that you don’t have on your itinerary already, what would it be?
9. What’s on your “bucket list?”
10. If you sensed your time on the planet was increasingly limited, what would you want to be doing with it?

That should be enough investigation for us. If you’re like me, at this point, your list is far too long to be entirely practical in the immediate future. I’m interested in almost everything, it seems. But when I look a little closer, I see some repeating themes.

If nothing else, I can narrow down my list by focusing on questions 7 and 8. When we view our desires through the lens of one day, or one activity that strikes us as doable in the present, then we’re on to something. Case in point: I’ve been bemoaning my lack of reading for pleasure for years now. Years and years. I love reading and have high aspirations for all the reading I’m going to do at some point or want to be doing right now. Yet I don’t make the time for some reason. Many reasons. It’s a great example. Here is an activity that is contained in my answers to 7 of the above 10 questions!

What’s stopping me? Nothing. Literally nothing, on most days, except my lack of effort. My non-choosing. I believe in the idea that, if you show me what you spend your money and time on, I’ll show you your priorities. For me, this activity I love and aspire to, which is so readily available to me, it not a priority.

Now I ask you this: other than unplanned urgent matters, who selects my priorities for me?

So there we go. Nothing is simpler than this concept. It’s life-changing. What do you want to do? And really, what’s stopping you? Got a 20-year project requiring a million dollars you don’t have? Well, if you want to, you can do it. It’s a project. You pick it. Get on the fundraising shtick and start the 20 most purposeful years of your life, then.

On the other hand, make sure you’re actually listening to your heart’s desires; not just assuming what you think you want is what you really want. I know we sometimes feel we’re supposed to want to do things, maybe we’re even good at something so it seems ripe for the picking… but mmmm, nope, if we’re honest, it’s not a real want, it’s a fabricated one.

Therein is the very crux of procrastination as well as all those abandoned unfinished projects. Like how I keep thinking I want to crochet some nice gifts with all the yarn I’m storing. But today I realized, no, I don’t want to. I think I should want to, however “crochet nice gifts” or “use up my yarn” is not on my bucket list, and it’s not what I would wish to spend one whole unencumbered day doing, nor is it something I really want to fit in more of as my time on this planet is increasingly limited.

I believe we allow a small undercurrent of tragedy to exist in so many of our lives, especially caretakers’ lives, which are often the lives of women: we don’t choose to do what we want, even though it is our choice. We don’t agree that what we desire is in us for a reason. We are supposed to do what we desire, though. We need to, in order to be whole and satisfied and purposeful, right? Do we actually accept that we are NOT supposed to do what we wish to do? That we are supposed to live our lives toiling away without any reward in activities that we choose, for ourselves, based on our own wants?

I hope we can make a new agreement with ourselves in this particular project: let’s agree that our life is filled with our actions, and our actions are our choice.

I’d love to hear your comments on this topic….but not until you’ve made a commitment to your own activities, and prioritized them accordingly. According to what you want. And then do them. Don’t forget that part. As for me, now I’m going to read a few pages of the book I started a couple months ago and I’m going to keep doing that, for the rest of my life.

Enviro-Mental Considerations

We've finished Picking our Minds over the last several posts, and now I'd like to move us into a new mental space. Consider your environment. Your environment is anywhere you do anything. It's not only the place, it's the people and things, too. It's your home, and your belongings, and your family, and your pets. It's your neighborhood, and your town, and your country and your climate. It's your place of employment, and your co-workers, and your boss, and your desk.

That's not just one Thing to Pick, now is it? Environment is huge. Plus, you likely have several. Each day. I'll have to concede, we could do an entire year-long series of Project Pick One Thing: Your Environment, just to cover the breadth of this topic. So for now, we'll specialize--we're picking Your Fitness Environment. (Next time, your nutritional environment.) And that's it. Because we can't pick everything....

"Behind You!"
If you ever worked in a restaurant you know this phrase. Without it, collisions are likely. People might get hurt, or heaven forbid, food might be lost on it's way out to the table. When you're in an environment where everyone is focused on similar, but not exactly the same, goals, it's important you feel supported but also know you're accountable for your own results. Good restaurants are like that, and so are good work environments. Actually, households work well in this way, too. And so do places of fitness.

Unfortunately, a great many people find the wrong environments for their own goals when they're seeking a place of fitness. Big gyms are an exciting playground for some, an affordable family activity for others, and a giant scary house of mirrors for others still. Small gyms with a focus on heavy lifting might be filled with a certain intensity that isn't right for a yogi just trying to get on a cardio machine once in a while. Home workout areas complete with dvds and stretchy bands can be far too underwhelming and lonely to motivate some people to regular workouts. For others, home is the absolute best health haven.

So, who's behind you? Who has your back? Tennis clubs are an environment. So are running clubs, fight clubs and country clubs. A quiet backyard where only the breeze and the windchimes are behind you, that's an environment, too. You have a lot of choices when it comes to the places, tools and people you'll choose for your fitness environment. Be thoughtful about your choices. Experiment, keep an open mind, trust your instincts, and believe anything is worth trying for a bit. When you find the environment(s) you like best, it should feel like your effort is paying off each time you're there. It should be a part of your lifestyle, not something you dread, nor an itchy uncomfortable fit.

Then again, you never know, not until you try. Big pro male athletes must be brave to enter the Pilates studio and give it a try, but when they do, they often learn it's a great environment for them to finesse and balance out all their other physical endeavors. Slim young girls must be brave to step up to the heavy plates and learn to hoist them above their heads while standing next to big pro male athletes, but when they do, they often learn it's a great environment to grow their own abilities in ways no one had really suggested before.

Proof in point: the following two videos for you to watch. Take the 15 minutes to get through both. It will help you start to form ideas about the type of environment(s) you want to place yourself in, to be fit, feel good and have fun.


In the Laura Plumey Crossfit video below, you'll witness a girl who competes with herself first and foremost, and it's incredible what she can and will do. I don't know Laura, and I don't do Crossfit, but I can spot an amazing competitor when I see one... You can view plenty of them, via the Crossfit program, but I'm sharing this video with you so you can focus on this one person working, in an environment that is both comfortable and motivating for her. The support and instructions she receives are a blessing. But even more than that I think the energy she's able to draw from this room of likeminded people really does the trick. When you're feeling at home/in a zone within the right environment, like this shot above featuring the women of Crossfit Portland, it can offer an emotional and mental boost that's hard to beat. Watch how Laura shines in this room, it's really inspiring: Crossfit Challenge: Laura Plumey


Now to contrast the first video, but also compare it, I'm sharing this lovely collection of scenes from an open gym Pilates class with 80-something Romana Kryzanowska, former ballerina and the first person given the blessing to teach Joe Pilates' method, after Joe and Clara Pilates themselves. At first glance, it seems that here is an entirely different environment for those working out. In many ways it is. But hang in there, and the similarities will start to hit you. The support and guidance of Romana, the independent pursuits of the students who are working on and with themselves first and foremost. When you get to minute 7 or so, you'll really start to see how nuts some Pilates practitioners are on that equipment, and how strong. Because they love it, it inspires them, they applaud when finished. The sharing of energy is also key: Elaine's Pilates Blog: Beautiful Pilates Video

So, there are just two of infinity, when it comes to places where, things with, and people with whom, you might spend your fitness time. If it's effective, and you're not hurting yourself, and it makes you feel good, you're on the right track. But if you're mentally fatigued by, or emotionally drained because of, or as excited as a dead fish when it comes time to go to your fitness place, then please, tweak it. Consideration number 1: YOU. You are ALWAYS the central component of ANY of your environments.

Just as this day cannot exist without you in it, your environment is nothing more than what you perceive it to be. Make it a great one.

Mind over Chatter

As a fitness instructor, I am made distinctly aware of the inner dialogue of dozens of people I meet with each week. At my studio, we’re in an environment where people tend to feel comfortable (we’re all in this together), but also tend to feel self-focused (I’m really trying to work on myself). It’s a second family of sorts, but better in some ways, as we’re all just distant enough not to have to carry our entire existence in through the doors with us each time we come to work out. We get to choose what to share for the most part.

Of course, we don’t always make a conscious choice. We often reveal our inner beliefs via our internal self-chat without even realizing it. And that’s where my distinct awareness comes in. In my job as a trainer, I’m there to notice stuff about people. So I do pick up on the clues sent out by their bodies and their minds. And their mouths.

~ Oh I hate those, I stink at those.
~ Something’s wrong with me, I still can’t do this right.
~ No matter how hard I try, I’m just not meant to (fill in the blank).
~ If I could only get rid of this gut, maybe I could do it, but we know that’s not happening.
~ haha I’m uncoordinated; heehee too bad I’m just like my mother; ugh I'm so stupid

Don’t get me wrong, inspiration still very much exists and so does self-confidence. We share plenty of all that too. Mostly I’m there to encourage all the positive actions people take on behalf of themselves. Positive actions tend to originate in positive thoughts, which come from positive beliefs. For this reason, positive people like me do well in our industry—success breeds enthusiasm and so getting people to recognize their successes from the inside out is a hallmark of my work. Let's say I'm the Prop in Propaganda.

Negative self-talk, which exists in its own little world that many people create in an icky small corners of their mind, is a very serious threat to the spreading of my shiny happy sunshine love of health, fitness and self. So, an important part of my job is pointing out to people when it seems like they might be telling us something based on a story they made up about themselves, though not necessarily true, and then they started to believe it, but like we said, it’s not true.

NO ONE IS JUST LIKE THEIR MOTHER. That knowledge alone should help millions.

To Overcome Whatever’s the Matter,
Pick Your Mind over Your Chatter
Sometimes we’re working out and we’re very much able to focus on the matter at hand. The matter. The kind of matter that exists, physically. The matter that is the body, the exercise, the muscle, the breath, the heavy spring or the wall we’re pressing against. Our mind is able to teach us how much more we can do, how much longer we can go. It is also able to simmer us down; it'll raise red flags when we’re out of our zone, losing touch with the reality of the matter.

All good. Thank you higher mind, for keeping us connected with concepts greater than our contained, physics-bound bodies can sometimes process. Notions like, “Hey, are you sure you want to keep trying to beat that kid whose half your age, cuz it seems like your legs are giving out and I think you’re gonna throw up.”

Then again, no thank you higher-mind-in-disguise (lower mind?), because you are less about the matter and more about the chatter: “You know, you do have to go to work tomorrow. That sucks. And you’re not a huge fan of push-ups either. They’re really not doing you much good anyway, look at you. You can barely….” STOP.

Literally. I have this theory and it’s been working pretty well so far—I’m actually able to cure many of my own personality dysfunctions when I just shut up about myself already. I can really elevate my functioning when take the focus off all my own opinions about me, and my opinions of your opinions about me, and instead, I just do my best and accept the results as they come. Make additional plans as needed.

This week, this month, hopefully the rest of your life, whenever you feel stuck or catch yourself being a jerk to yourself, you can Pick your Mind, instead. Your Mind is above all the harsh nagging and self-criticism. I mean, listen to yourself sometimes. How rude would some of that stuff be to say about someone else, if it wasn't you? You can do better by yourself. You can be honest with yourself. Be real. There really isn’t anything holding you back besides the stories you believe about yourself, now is there?

The higher mind has your back. The lower mind—the thoughtless chatterbox in your head--has your rug and likes to pull it out from under you. However, the higher mind has the quieter voice, and a matter-of-fact approach that must compete with the vibrant storytelling and constant attention-getting of your inner dialogue. So you need to put forth some effort not to let all that chatter distract you from the matter at hand.

The matter at hand is simple: determine what’s true, and what can be done about it, now.

Then just do that.

k?

Great. Okeedokee then, back to work.

So. It Really IS What It Is.

Mind your manners. Do you mind? Put your mind to it! Who is minding the store? I have a lot on my mind.

The mind can mean many things to many people. A most useful aspect of the mind is how it is able to be applied. You can keep important things and people and events in mind. You can have a mind for math. So the mind is versatile, and also highly directable. We can give much credit to the focused mind for our accomplishments.

But there are other aspects the mind that are perhaps even more beneficial than its ability to be applied: the mind’s ability to be open, and also to be present. This is what we can call “mindfulness.” It’s almost the opposite of putting your mind to it, in that it’s taking a load off your mind. Taking a load off your mind on a regular basis sounds good, doesn’t it? It is good. Cultivating mindfulness can truly change our lives. Because it changes our minds. From doing to experiencing. From questioning to observing. From not now to right now. From unknown to known. From seeking to having. Mindfulness delivers.

Mindfulness allows for discovery. Stargazers become Copernicus. At the moment he realizes the earth is not the center of the universe, Copernicus isn’t thinking about how the church is going to freak out when he tells them. (Even though they sort of do freak out, had he not been mindful of the movements of the heavens and open to observing whatever they might show him, he might have gotten caught up in the that’s-not-what-everybody-else-think-s or the what’s-gonna-happen-next-s. He might have missed his discovery altogether. He wasn’t seeking THE answer, either. He was looking, noticing and recognizing. As a result, his mindfulness brought the modern view of the solar system to all of mankind. Copernicus was paying attention.

Mindfulness also allows for connection. Bringing awareness to an experience literally joins the experiencer to the event. A mother bonds with her child at birth. These days the daddy does too, because he gets to be right there, not waiting elsewhere. Their child is born, and they aren’t hearing a crying baby or remembering back five minutes to those horrible labor pains or seeing a bunch of blood…they are instead mindful of the miracle of their child, who is now born. They are now one in that event, in an utterly unique and valuable way.

When it comes to taking care of yourself, and honoring yourself inside and out, there’s no doubt that mindfulness is a worthy practice. Think about it, you don’t see a lot of agitated, frustrated monks. Mindfulness elevates the business of being human. It does the work and doesn’t complain and doesn’t diminish. Mindfulness helps you deal with stress, and make no mistake, stress kills...people, yes, but it also kills good times and opportunities. But mindfulness can be elusive, because it’s more about what it’s not, than what it is. It’s not religious and it’s not athletic and it’s not academic and it’s not even creative. It just is. And that’s all. Don’t add anything to it.

I must admit, I do find it kind of hard. But I shouldn’t. Calling it hard is actually the exact opposite of mindfulness in relation to me trying to be mindful about it.

Pick One Thing: Your Mind(fulness)

An excerpt from Sylvia Boorstein’s writing on mindfulness that tells me how simple it really is: “Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience. It isn't more complicated that that. It is opening to or receiving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is, without either clinging to it or rejecting it.”

Sylvia Boorstein should know; she’s written a few books on the subject and one of them is titled just for me: It’s Easier Than You Think: The Buddhist Way to Happiness. Accepting the present experience as it is means you have to allow your mind to be open to whatever is happening, without judgment.

Sample: I am eating a meal that took me a long time to prepare and no one else at the table seems to appreciate it, even though I thought specifically of them while selecting a dish I thought they would enjoy. My emotions want to go anywhere from feelings of rejection to labeling others as ungrateful, and I don’t even realize it. I’m too busy getting a little bent out of shape. My immediate actions could range from sarcastic comments bordering on martyrdom (“Well I guess I won’t bother slaving away in a hot kitchen with expensive ingredients anymore since you’re all more interested in arguing about what’s on television tonight…”) to eating in silence while sulking and feeling bad about my wasted effort. Or bad about myself, because really who cares and why do I need credit?

Mindfulness practice: I am eating a meal which I selected with care and prepared with my own two hands. It tastes like the garden, with rustic spices and a comforting sauciness. I am surrounded by my family while we all eat this meal. They are conversing and bantering about what might be important to them at this moment. My kitchen is filled with voices and scents of a lovingly prepared meal.

When I am mindful, what stands out in the experience is naturally what means the most to me. I get to choose what I’m paying attention to, right? I’m the experiencer and I’m open to the event in the present and that allows for discovery and connects me with the event (and the people who are joined by it). I don’t feel like telling my family to shove the vegetable lasagna down their that-show-sucks/no-it-doesn’t pie holes anymore. It’s not idyllic but it’s not resentful either. What is it? It’s food. It’s us. I do bring up a new subject for us to converse about. And I mention that I really enjoy the lasagna, I’m glad I tried making it this way. Whatever their responses are, I accept them as their tastes and their opinion of the recipe (not of ME).

The Buddha (big mindfulness guy) said, “Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts.” Ain’t that the truth… If you’re not mindful, you’re likely to think all sorts of stuff that has nothing to do with what’s really happening. It’s not about optimism, it’s not about ignorance--it’s about what it is about.

Cultivate some for yourself today. Pick a moment to live. Don’t react, just experience. Ahhh. It’s just that simple. If we all would make a new daily habit of mindfulness, I think we might change the world.

Free (then Apply) Your Mind

They say the mind is a terrible thing to waste. I know why. It’s a huge part of what makes you, you. Your brain can calculate for you, but imagining new solutions is up to your mind. So is asking questions. Your brain can send and receive signals for you, but interpretation is up to your mind. So is personal expression. A life consumed by calculations and factual communications could hardly have the depth and expanse as a life of envisioning possibilities, curiosities, considerations and…song. Or dance, or art. All of which of course require brains at some point, but it is minds that pursue storytelling and seek new constructs.

And that is why I think a higher mind is perhaps the greatest thing about being human. Minds are the icing on the brain cake. Eww. Let’s try again. Minds are not the map, and not the directions, but the tour guide through the landscape. Our minds connect knowledge with desire, ability with possibility.

I’ve heard this put in a couple of different ways that really resonate: “You might be able to teach a monkey or a parrot to say words or even type words, but they can’t sit down and write you a poem.” (I don’t know who said that but I remember thinking, wow, that’s what’s so cool about being human.) Also, Albert Einstein, one of the greatest brains and minds ever, said it this way: “The human mind has first to construct forms, independently, before we can find them in things.” (Double wow. Ponder that for a moment. A mind has to construct a form, say, for invisible waves that sound (or data!) can travel on, before we can find…radio. Television. Guided missiles. Garage door openers. Wireless internet.)

I’m not a scientist nor a spiritualist so I’ll stop short of defining the brain versus the mind, or a thought versus an inspiration, any further than this. I’m merely a writer who hopes to motivate and inform people who want to grow and evolve in body and mind.

Pick One Thing: Your Mind

So if your mind is a huge part of what makes you you, it stands to reason that it’s not just “in” your brain. Indeed, I read more every year about the mind-body connection, and how intricate the dance is between every cell in your physical existence and your thoughts. Your nervous system is actually the physical system that connects your brain with your body, and your vascular system connects your heart with your body. The mystery about how your mind connects thoughts with your body (and your life) is yet to be fully explained, but we do have plentiful clues from strong minds in research.

Here is a list of pilot studies proposed by Johns Hopkins’ Center for Mind Body Research. With subjects of study such as the effects of depression and hopelessness on heart attack survivors, and the psychophysiologic effects of yoga on chronic arthritis, well… we see there are fine minds at work with constructing forms and finding new information all the time. If you need convincing that your mind is likely to be working for (or against) your body, your health, and your experience, looking at a list like this will help---little drum roll please--change your mind. Johns Hopkins Mind-Body Research

I pulled this next tidbit off a developing website for a gallery of mind-body research studies and investigations associated with Washington College in St. Louis and its School of Medicine. When I read it, I nodded. They are probably on to something here.

BIOLOGICAL BASES OF HEALTH-RELATED BEHAVIORS

We employ theories of behavioral endocrinology and behavior genetics to investigate possible biological underpinnings of health-related behaviors. The hope is to increase understanding of constitutional differences in threat responsiveness and perceived vulnerability that may influence everyday health-related behaviors among individuals as well as between the sexes.

Isn’t going to be great, when thanks to investigations like the above, we’ve increased understanding about how we behave in relation to how vulnerable we feel, or how we respond to threats? This understanding is going to help a lot of people accept what I already sense: thoughts cause life experience.

Sure there’s going to be some hormonal releases and DNA behavior markers in between; that’s the whole point of view when you’re trying to make a case for mind/body: it’s all related.

In some cases we can refer to tens, or hundreds, or thousands of years of anecdotal and cultural evidence. Meditation, mindfulness, positive thinking, the power of attraction, acting only in love, detaching from outcomes, refraining from judgment, and so on. It’s all out there--some of us work with all these practices and tools and they in turn work for us, others of us just go with our gut, or our God, or our good looks.

One thing is for sure, what ever you choose or don’t choose, if you made a decision about it or if you shared it with others; if you’ve discussed it, defended it, rejoiced in it or experienced it as more than a computer would, more than a robot, more than a monkey or a parrot; then you’ve put your mind to it.

And that just goes to show, if you put your mind to it, it comes to be. It's what you do. It makes you, you.

Everything you’ve done or had or learned has been interpreted by your mind right into its state of existence today. Including your body. This is evidenced by a review of 100 years of research on psychological literature on disease, stress, and behavioral medicine conducted by Oakley Ray, PhD, at Vanderbilt University, and published in 2004 in American Psychologist. So many studies for us to appreciate, and to use in our personal lives and our approach to healthcare. “Understanding how the mind, the endocrine system, the nervous system and immune system all interact (better known as 'psychoendoneuroimmunology' (PENI) is crucial in helping people conquer the stress in their lives and stay healthy," said Ray.

Let’s all giggle at PENI now, at least those of us with naughty minds. Okay, back to topic.

I am including this one example of a research finding from the American Psychological Association to cement the importance of this aspect of the care and keeping of you; of honoring the power and beauty of your mind:

“There is also evidence that an individual's belief system can influence the course of a major illness, such as cancer. According to a study of women with breast cancer who had mastectomies, it was their state of mind ("I am going to beat this") that kept them alive not the severity of their illness. At the five-, ten- and 15-year follow-up, the best predictor of death or recurrence of cancer was the psychological response of each woman three months after the initial surgery. The mental attitude after the surgery better predicted the likelihood of dying or having a recurrence than did the size of the tumor, the tumor's histologic grade or patient's age (Greer, 1991).”

Maybe you don’t have cancer, but there’s probably some other problem you’re dealing with. Let’s ask, then—what are you putting your mind on? How are you wrapping your mind around your problem? What do you want to change in your life (your health, your outcomes, your body, your stress level?) and can you change your mind about it to help make that happen? Mindfulness is our next entry. It seems like it changes everything.

Show of Hands

Turning attention to your hands will bring you both cosmetic and health benefits. From the lofty perspective, hands are a symbol of social and intimate relations, spiritual connection, work, progress and protection. Contemplating all that hands can represent, we can say they are truly a universal metaphor. There’s like a good neighbor, I wanna hold your hand, let’s shake on it, lend me a hand, raise your hand, greasing his palms, blood on her hands, a clenched fist, a gentle caress, stop in the name of love, peek a boo, applause applause, high fives, pointing fingers, all hands in a cheer of team unity. Do we agree? Let’s have a show of hands.

Pick Two Things (& Ten Things): Your Hands (& Fingers)
Hands are one of the most used parts of your body for active everyday living, so the way they feel and the way they look is likely to vary depending on what you do with them. Over time, hands will have seen a lot of sun on top of a lot of action. So they do tend to reveal our age, along with our habits and activities. There are some things you might want to do to help your hands out in the cosmetic department. Then again, not all hands are meant to be models.

Guitar players have beloved calluses on their fingers, for example, and if they play Spanish guitar, they have long nails on the string-plucking hand and short nails on the other. Carpenters and outdoors men tend to have rough hands, with calluses on the palms. You can tell the difference when you shake a rock climbers hand versus a pianists hand. People without a lot of body fat might have rather veiny hands, especially as they get older and their skin thins; while people with extra body fat might have plump hands with hardly any lines at all. All that falls in the range of good and fine, but for those who want to go a bit further, I do have a couple of ideas that can help anyone along with the appearance of their hands.

Handy Suggestions
~My sister in law donned those big yellow gloves for washing dishes and other harsher household chores for years. We’re the same age, but her hands look way better than mine.

~ My friend swears by cuticle oil. In fact, she is addicted to it. It became a self-care ritual for her to use cuticle oil to soften and push back her cuticles, and then to moisturize and give gleam to her nails. Gotta admit, she has nice looking, handsomely groomed nails that even a truck driver could benefit from.

~ If you put lotion with sunscreen on your face each day as prevention, why not rub it on your hands, too? If you have a nighttime anti-aging routine for your face, you could use that on your hands as well.

~ Quit biting your nails and biting your skin. One great way to break the habit is to start taking care of your hands. With the soft skin and cuticle oil and lotion tricks mentioned above, you’ll find that it’s nice to look down and see good hands, instead stubby ragged ones. I used a mental tricks to help me quit. First, every time I caught myself biting my nails or skin, I stopped, rested my hands in my lap and thought, “hands, be still, be cool.”

That was what I wanted to feel and how I wanted to look, so it worked to remind me of what my intentions were. I kept thinking how bad it looked if I were caught gnawing away at my hands, say… in a waiting room for a job interview, or by a cute guy from across the room (I was young and single then). It really worked.

The Hand You’re Dealt
Can you improve your hands in any way besides cosmetically? Sure you can, at least a little.

~ You can strengthen your grip and squeeze strength. Functional movements will do this to a certain extent, as in tennis players and roofers tend to have strong hands. But simple gripping and squeezing exercises will work for those wanting something extra. Say, you want to register your hands as lethal weapons. Or you want to rip a deck of cards in half. Check out a training forum specifically for strong hands (and forearms, because those are related): http://www.bccorefitness.com/seriouslystronghands.html

~ You can increase the agility and quickness of your hands, too. Again, practice makes perfect. Take up guitar or piano or a woodwind instrument like clarinet or flute. You’ll get better at it the better your hands get at moving about quickly in a relatively small span of space and time.

~ Artsy endeavors beyond music will also help you with your hands. Hair braiding can encourage hand finesse, as can crocheting and knitting, paper crafting, oil painting, and calligraphy.

~ How about court reporters and data entry personnel? Them are fast hands. Learning to type and typing often helps keep your finger joints fluid.

On the other hand, there’s that darn repetitive motion syndrome to consider. And good ole arthritis. Joint pain, swelling, numbness, vascular constriction—all of these are the unfortunate symptoms of the dark side of having skilled and active hands.

Helping Hands
~ I started taking a couple of triple strength glucosamine and chondroitin tablets, once a day, a few years ago, and my hands are VERY much better off for it. I had early onset (in my 40s) of arthritis pain, stiffness and swelling in my knuckles and thumb joints, to the point where waking up some mornings I looked like I had been the product of a human/lobster mating. The glucosamine might not have tons of university research proving its effectiveness in humans, but it definitely works for dogs, and for me, so if you (or your dogs) suffer, maybe give it a try.

~ I also recently began supplementing with daily digestive enzymes. For digestion aid, mostly, but in particular I wanted to be more efficient in digesting proteins. And now, I’m certain I am. The addition of bromelein and papain further relieved my joint and hand pain (and my wrists, and knees and neck feel better too, by the way) to the point of I hardly remember that I have this arthritis to deal with. (Except I still stink at tennis.)

I now recover from my workouts better and feel better in my tummy when I eat extra protein. All good. I can’t vouch for these things medically, as I’m not a doctor, but I can tell you they help me. Enough to make me want to learn more about how and why and what else we can do with natural enzymes at our fingertips.

Here’s a book that leads to a list of others that I’ll be checking out in the next year: http://www.amazon.com/Enzymes-Digestive-Health-Nutritional-Wealth/dp/0972591869

In the meantime, put your hands in your own good hands. Pamper them a little, or pump them up, or both. They help you hold on to all good things in your life.

You're In The Arms-ies Now

I love when people start to get into their arms, because it’s easy for me to help them make a plan and help them see results. Plus, I like arms. I like guys’ forearms enough to have apparently steered my younger dating life toward only guitar players. Married one, too. (I didn’t marry Keith Urban, I’m just sayin’ he’s got nice forearms. Like my husband.)


In girls, I really dig shoulders, but who can resist a strong-armed woman ala
“Yes We Can”? Arms and a working bandana?

Sign me up.

Everyone can answer the call to arms with relative ease. Although, please note that not everyone gets dealt the cards for wonderfully-defined arms. You have no control over the insertion points of your muscles, so if your biceps are an inch longer than the guy next to you, you can do the same workouts and drink the same shakes all you like, but his muscles might still be shorter/rounder, and thus have more bulge.

Same is true if you carry extra body fat in the arms—ladies, this point is for you. Some women will never have the defined triceps they have long admired in Madonna,

or their yoga instructor,


or boxer Laila Ali (yep, that Ali).

Not because their arms can’t make it past Olive Oyl,but because in the end, the shapes of our bodies do depend on several factors, not the least of which is special locations of fat cell storage and body type and muscle fiber type distribution and on and on.
Now, never mind all that. There is PLENTY you can do with your arms to help them be all that they can be. And you should do plenty, because the results always show and they look so good. I’ve polled a bunch of fitness-minded friends and found out what they like about arms, how they prefer to take care of their arm strengthening and shaping, and I’ve added a few of my own favorite approaches as well.

If you Pick One Thing and that Thing is Your Arms…

I suggest you select simple, accessible mix of exercises that you can repeat a few times a week. Get real good at them. Take a couple of “before” pictures, flexing, from different angles, too. Get some shadows on those arms. When you see the difference, oh, say as soon as six or eight weeks from now, you’ll realize it, clear as anything: Your arms are hot. So here’s a laundry list of ideas for the care and keeping of your arms, and why that might be important to you. Take those flexy pics and go.

“I've been having fun with ropes workouts lately … been doing a little something at least once a week … great for the arms, and really seem to do a number on the wrists & forearms which I've always had a hard time figuring out a way to work….Right now I'm focused on whole body compound movements for the most part, but I still like to tack on a little extra arm work at the end. The usual 'Guy Stuff' like curls, dips, tri kickbacks etc. Pull ups and chin ups too, all different grips to hit different parts equally.”

“I'm a sucker for pushups. I like doing them, I like being able to do them, and I like my arms (and chest) from them. I like them with my feet elevated, with just one arm elevated on a medicine ball... I also like my slosh tube and inverted shoulder presses.

“Triceps dips, skull crushers, hammer curls and pull ups are some of my favorites...really anything that gives me the results I am looking for I have a thing for great arms and shoulders…it is usually the first thing I notice when I look at someone”

“My favorites: rows, deadlifts and chest presses. These three have helped me build stronger and leaner arms. Compound movements…My favorite part of my arms on me is my forearms. I have popping veins in them now.” (that's girl talk, by the way)

“Lateral shoulder raises, military shoulder press, and triceps dips (whether for dip bars or bench [weighted on a bench though]. I got to play on TRX ropes today, and the dips from those were amazing. I think hammer curls are fun vanity exercises, for what it's worth.”

“My favorite arm exercises are hammer curls and one arm triceps extensions (on a cable machine) and bench presses, which also mess with the triceps. My (and my wife’s) favorite arm parts are my forearms. Though the hammer curls and other curling exercises aid my forearms, a continued diet of regular and reverse wrist curls (both of which are my least favorite arm exercise) are what keeps them the way they are.”

“I do military press & deadlift but it's not until I do about 150 - 200 push ups every other day that I start noticing how much firmer and defined my triceps & biceps are. Think the best workouts for me (body weight - no equipment) are Intense Push Ups and Chin Ups or Pull Ups. With equipment: Push Press or Military Presses, and Bench Press (although since I do Push Ups, I don't do this anymore).”

“I like Push ups, Dips, Plank Ups, Dive Bomber Push ups and Pike Presses...do 'em every day...in some form or another.”

“It took my trainer months, maybe a year, to make me forget about my arms and just do compound movements. She promised me my arms would not get smaller. A couple years later after mostly compound movements, my arms are a lot stronger. I can't say they bulked up or anything. But I just recently decided to try arm exercises again and I'm way ahead of where I left off a couple years ago on arm exercises. So I am a huge proponent of compound, functional lifts in place of isolation exercises. Arms, legs, shoulders - doesn't matter. I like compound best.”

“Here is one isolation exercise I can vouch for. It is a rotational exercise for the forearms. So many forearm exercises are curls. These are not curls. I discovered this while doing rehab work for bicep tendonitis. It happened to do very good things to my forearms. This is a movement that doesn't get much work in compound exercises. It also does a lot to strengthen the muscles that are attached to the tendons leading to the biceps.”

“Weighted tricep dips, military press, tricep pushups (ouch). Also yoga. Dolphin = amazing. And, I never use a supermarket trolley: take a basket every time, carry it round the store, carry your groceries to the car, etc. Your arms will love you for it!”

From Faith: Add to the above shopping basket tip—carrying around babies does some great things to baby-mama arms, that’s for sure.

And, although I don’t do it, I admire rowing as a sport and wish I had those skills. And arms. One thing that I always think of high rows and low rows--I do a lot on the TRX straps and those row movements (along with tri presses) are so killer with body weight hanging out there like that. However, I was just thinking of a rowing machine as well. Don’t have access to one, but functionally, people who row…well, they have such great bodies, and their arms are beautiful.

These pics are from the World Rowing Network site and US Olympic site...now let's get to work.

May the Sun Shine on Your Shoulders

May the burdens of the day rest lightly upon you.

When it comes to the care and keeping of your shoulders, I’d like to suggest you consider them as beautiful, inside and out. I feel that way about all of you, of course. There’s so much more to a person than the sum of their body parts. But with shoulders, I feel the need to more strongly make that point. Shoulders can look so broad, but still be so frail. They can form a united front with brothers, but also freeze. They can be stood on, rested on, and cried on, but they can also carry around an ugly chip that gets in the way. Hair tumbles down over them or they are bare; either way, they are sexy. And they say so much about us. Curved forward is different than held back at attention; shrugging is different than shimmying.

Yep, there’s a lot more to shoulders than meets the eye. Take their location, midway between your brain and your heart. Right there in the middle of all those nerves, all that breath and blood! The shoulder joint is pretty miraculous, a lot like the miracle of opposing thumbs. Because of our shoulders we don’t need giraffe necks or elephant trunks or alligator tails. Our homosapien shoulder joint works for us.

But its possibilities, arising from all that range of motion and flexibility, also lead to its potential demise—as a major joint, it seems like maybe it coulda shoulda been built a bit stronger, considering all it does. Ask a major league pitcher. Or a volleyball player. Shoulder injuries hurt. Bad. Then again, too much sinew might take away from some of the shoulder’s glorious freedoms. It’s the most flexible joint with the biggest range of motion. So, like a lot of great things, shoulders must be strong and liberated to be at their best. Atlas holds the world, after all, on his shoulders.

How about you? How much weight do you tend to carry on your shoulders, and how well do you seem to manage it? Please think about this question both literally and viscerally. With shoulders being so valuable on so many levels, it's about time we picked them. Let’s look at some of the small tweaks and bigger fixes you can make to honor your beautiful shoulders, inside and out.

“God gave burdens; also shoulders.” –Yiddish Proverb

I love this saying. Regardless of any spiritual bent, or not, and whatever your proclaimed faith might be, or not, doesn’t that quote just ring true to the core? Buddhists say life is suffering but enlightenment is the path out of suffering and into peace. Taoists tell us to let nature take its course and ask us to be strong enough not to control everything. Personal trainers want us to know that strong shoulder muscles help protect us from injury. The bottom line: there will always be work for you to do, obstacles for you to overcome, and people you need to help, including yourself. And you will. And you’ll be better for it. Build your shoulder up and offer it to ease the burdens of others, but don’t forget…

“He who lets the goat be laid on his shoulders is soon after forced to carry the cow.” –Italian Proverb

If you take everything upon yourself, your shoulders will eventually weaken. But people won’t know it because you keep taking everything on, and so in their ignorance they will try to put more on there than you can reasonably be expected to handle. That is unhealthy for you. It’s quite healthy and acceptable seek the shoulder of another when your burdens have been weighing you down. Think about someone you’ve never helped out or lent a hand or an ear to, never sympathized with, or did a favor, or forgave. How close do you feel to that person? Giving and receiving help is what bonds us in a very real way.

“From birth, man carries the weight of gravity on his shoulders. He is bolted to earth. But man has only to sink beneath the surface and he is free.” –Jacques Cousteau

Outstanding advice from the guru of the sea. Water is a most wonderful workout for shoulders. Actually, many of our nasty joints (hips, low backs, knees) respond beautifully to water, for the very reason Jacques has stated here. It unbolts you, frees you from gravity, both supports you and sets you in motion. When you are set in motion, you tend to heal yourself. If you have a bad shoulder, get in the water as soon as the doctor clears you, it's therapy for life.

“I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.” –Steve Martin

Well, that one is mostly for fun. Laugh–it relieves tension! Tension relief is invaluable to the whole of you, but your shoulders and neck especially. The trapezius muscle is ginormous, connecting the base of your skull to the backs of your shoulders to the upper and middle parts of your ribs. When the upper trapezius gets tense, your neck and shoulders mess up. When your neck and shoulders are messed up, certain areas of the upper trapezius (“traps”) will get tense. Headaches may happen. Range of motion diminishes. You’re not in good shape if you can’t lower your head, turn your neck or lift your arm, right?

Massage works wonders. Roll out tight spots with a tennis ball or rolling pin. If you’re painting a room or moving stuff onto shelves or climbing rocks or wearing football or hockey pads all day, your traps need relief even before your shoulders and neck start screaming at you the next day. If you’re up for it, a bit of chiropractic care will often cure what ails you in this region. And quit it with the huge heavy purse or phone being held in one ear. Please stretch the traps regularly and don’t over work them. Start attending to this now, then maintain it. You’ll avoid much misery, I promise.

This Little Piggy Went Wee Wee Wee

Poor ole' feet.

They're at the bottom. All that impact, every day...all that upright energy draining down into them...just look at the noble way they carry you across this earth your whole lifetime, and still, hardly anyone seems to truly appreciate the beautiful, complex structure of their feet.

Your feet are like the high-pressured iron core beneath the molten rock and magma of your body, far below the crust at the surface with all it's pretty landscape and wonderous resources. They were made for the job, and sadly, might be pretty beaten down by the job. So lowly and underrated. What about the proper care and keeping of your feet?

It's no wonder so many people like pampered footsie things like rubs and pedicures. Think about that: pedi = of the feet and cure = fix or heal. It's no surprise Jesus fell for the lady who bathed his feet and visa versa. Of course business girls in short skirts and long jackets like to kick off those pumps at the end of the day and have someone bring them a nice foot pillow and some peppermint oil.

You've got 20 muscles in just one foot! 1/4 of ALL the bones in your entire body are in your feet! Yet, I find that most people will walk around with a certain amount of foot pain and/or podiatric problems their entire adult life, as if it's normal, and never even think seriously about doing something to correct it, until it's practically debilitating. Why is this?

I dunno. Probably because your feet might keep functioning even under extreme duress. If you're losing your eyesight, eventually you can't read or drive so you have to go get your eyes checked and you have to get your vision corrected. With feet, not so dire, maybe. People have really curly toes and overlapping ones, too, bones that stick out and rub against their shoes, nerves that are compressed and send zinging pain up from between the toe bone...and they kinda just live with that. Corns and calluses are self-treated and regularly messed up--but, in comparison to the eyesight analogy, I guess you can only squint for so long? So the feet lose out. No wonder that little piggy cried all the way home. Your feet deserve more.

Pick Your Piggies
There really is a trickle up effect when it comes to toes, ankles, gait, knees, hips and posture, and they all affect balance and physical performance. (Not to mention, quality of life!) But a lot of people are so very quick to dismiss the idea of doing foot exercises, or seeing a foot specialist, or even using a foot spa. It all seems so indulgent. You'll put conditioner in your hair everyday and go get it trimmed, even colored, several times a year (hair which feels no pain in its disrepair), but won't bother to bend over and pumice those heels, or perhaps have those fallen arches checked out by a foot doctor at least once this year.

Now this isn't meant to be a lecture to make you look down at your feet and feel bad for overlooking them. (Although, you might, because maybe you've been ignoring the amazing feats of the feet and spending way more time on body parts closer to your field of vision.) Instead, this is meant to remind you (and me! I'm not big on foot care myself) that we can easily get into the habit of acknowledging how our feet handle all the pavement they've covered for us. A little extra massage here and there, put your feet up once in a while, and how about investing a couple of shoe inserts if you need them?

YOUR SHOES. Rid your life of all toxic footwear. We shall NOT wear uncomfortable shoes! Period. If you use fitness shoes for anything from running to tennis to Zumba, get good ones that feel supportive, but not like cement. If you work out regularly, you'll probably need a pair at least every year, every 6 months if you're putting a lot of miles on.

Also, if you're not actively stretching and strengthening your feet doing things like walking around barefoot and tippy-toeing and flexing them back once in a while, why not start now? Foot therapy is simple and it can happen when you're sitting down doing other things like watching TV or getting out of bed slowly on Sunday or taking a nice warm bath.

So there you go. It's time to pick your feet. But don't pick your toenails because you might get an ingrown one and those really hurt. They get infected easily and you should really have a professional deal with them. Also don't pick your feet as a nervous habit at, like, a barbecue. It's gross. This Little Piggy had Roast Beef is just a figure of speech.

Non-Fat Half Calf, Please

While thighs are such a thunderous concern for some, the lower level leg love is really lacking for others. The bottom line is this: there's only so much you can do if you're going to focus on your calves. Go ahead, pick calves as your one thing, though. Because mostly, after the basics, you're going to need to learn to appreciate them for all that they are.

For example, they are almost always on duty. They are built that way, to hold you up all day long. Your calves are the direct conduit for whatever ideas your feet have about travelling you around. But, like Popeye, they are what they are and that's all what they are. You've inherited most of your calf qualities already. Yes, you can affect them with diet and exercise. A little. But if you want to wear the tall black boot and can't get the dang zipper up past your soleus no matter how hard you try, I gotta tell ya', you may have to just rock the pumps and strappy sandals in this life instead.

Here's an article overview that answers the calf reduction (or calf-building, if you turn the info. around) question in a pretty straightforward way. It's on eHow, written by me.

Calf Reduction

Thigh Me to the Moon

It was the core, or center of the body, that received the nickname "powerhouse" from good ole’ Joseph Pilates, guru of the gut. I’ve often thought if the abs, back and butt are the powerhouse, then we should recognize the thighs as the workhorse of the body, and give them their proper respect.

Women often hate their thighs. Especially women with bigger thighs. Even women with lovely average-sized thighs will tend to find something lacking in their legs—they wish they were longer, thinner, more defined, tanner, smoother, etc.

Men often love women’s thighs. In my experience they aren’t nearly as picky about them as most women are. Many men like a meatier thigh shape, a thigh with curving lines. Some men love “legs up to here” and other men just like legs, period, for their function--all those places they can reach, move and wrap.

Men seem to be somewhat attached to the appearance of their own thighs, often wishing they weren’t skinny (if they are). But it’s not nearly as profound of a thigh-rant as many women go on. Women also seem to be fond of men’s thighs, ranking them as a very appealing body part when well-developed. We might find even more women envying a man's thighs when they are on a beautiful drag show Cher or Tina. “Look at those legs. Those are perfect thighs. It’s not fair!”

Well, it might not be fair but it is what it is. Thighs of every shape and size all around you, and as for yours, with all they do for you, you really should love them up a little more.

Pick One Thing: Your Thighs

Thighs are the home for the two largest, strongest, heaviest bones in your body, your right and left femur. Femurs are the connection between your lower and upper halves, so you figure, they better be made to last. If you don’t have a femur then you don’t have use of a leg. Think of it this way: a replacement leg is now made of titanium, the space age metal with the highest weight-to-strength ratio of any metal. Now that’s an important limb. Proud. Precious.

The muscles of your thighs are a rail system of propulsion for you. Which way would you like to go? You’ve got more than a dozen muscles in your upper leg to help you get anywhere you’d like. Some of them are rope-like long extenders, some of them thicker braids of stony strength. Forward, backward, to the outside, to the inside. Bend, reach, jump, land, kick, squat, lunge, get up from a chair or into a car, jitterbug or pirouette, ski, skate or do the splits….there’s gonna be some thigh in there somewhere.

Want to know the best way to take care of your thighs? Exercise them and feed them. Attend to both muscles and bones. You need some light impact from things as simple as walking or doing step aerobics. Make sure you’re consuming enough bone-building minerals like calcium and magnesium. Strength will come from doing many of the movements I listed in the previous paragraph. If you can’t squat big, that’s okay, do some knee bends. Dig a garden and keep it free of weeds. If you can’t ski, that’s okay, hike. Walk up the stairs sideways.

If you happen to lift weights, your thighs have it made in the shade. They have a chance to really respond. If you’re a skinny-legged soul trying to build more size, work that barbell with low reps and heavy weights. Ask the best-looking legs at the gym what the routine is and you’ll usually find out that it’s tough work, but pretty simple. For power, add some plyometrics, which are jumping/explosive movements. If you’re a mighty-thighed wonder wishing to be a bit more willowy, try dancing. Dancing moves you on various planes at various speeds with gravity as your resistance, and of course your own body weight. Plyometrics are built right in, and stretching too. All good for thighs.

If you’re currently losing body fat, give your thighs some time to catch up if they need it. They tend to be one of those stubborn areas that like to be their own deciders. They might be last in line when it comes to letting go of stored energy. After all, your thighs were made to move you. They might feel it’s still their duty to keep some energy at the ready should you really need to run. You know, like you used to, from the saber tooth or the charging rival tribe or the avalanche or whatever.

Whatever the size and shape your thighs, it is useful to remember their value to the survival of our species above all else. Without the heritage of thigh genetics that has been passed on to you, your ancestors wouldn’t have been able to escape the dangers presented them, or move on to the making of more ancestors, which became successful generation after generation of the very thighs that have miraculously led to yours. Don’t hate on your thighs. Thank them. In fact, if you can, call someone over on to your lap right now, to pay homage.

Kick One Thing

I realize this is a little different concept than Pick One Thing. If you've read anything I've ever written about NOT making New Year Resolutions, then you might even say this is contradictory to my previously touted philosophy. I've been saying for years we should evolve instead of resolve each year. We should become a better/happier/more knowledgeable/more capable version of ourselves instead of setting ourselves up for what often ends up being failure. I feel that way because a resolution isn't fluid, it tends to exist outside of you, it doesn't necessarily grow you. Instead of resolving to do this or that, or to stop doing this or that, you can make a goal of growth or revision or refinement. That helps you evolve.

So, kicking a habit seems a lot like a resolution. It can be, but in this case, it's not. Remember, we're talking about ridding one's lifestyle from a dominant vice. When we were last reviewing the subject, we learned that a major vice hurts you or takes away from your other priorities. Biting your nails is a habit you might like to kick. If you aspire to be a hand model, then it's probably an Alpha Vice.

If we're going to oust our Alpha Vice, it does involve kicking a habit, yes--but it's more than that. When you kick a habit, the process is usually one that requires awareness and dedication to the cause; the consequences are usually some sort of withdrawal, plus feelings of loss or even fear of change. When you challenge and replace your Alpha Vice, the process demands you stand up for yourself and fight for your best interests. The consequences mean you'll think, act and live differently. Your consequences will all end up tremendous and positive, though. Because the coup returns so much to you, including power you gave to your Alpha Vice.

Whether it's sugar or fast food or chocolate or junk food...smokes or booze or some other drug you feel you can chase out of town without professional intervention...shopping or cheating or tanning or plastic surgery or insecurities or perfectionism or sitting on your butt too much of each day...whatever it is, if you want it gone, it might not easy, but here are some excellent methods to help you overthrow the choices you have made that have overstayed their welcome or overstepped your originally intended boundaries.

1. Find the emotion in your reason for doing this, now. It won't work unless you believe it's worth it--not just in your head but in your heart. Human behavior tends to boil down to two motivators: avoiding pain and gaining pleasure. What is the pain today, and/or what will it be as time goes on, in your Alpha Vice behavior? What pleasure will be yours when it changes? What will you gain that could literally choke you up? More years with your children? Money to enjoy a special activity you once loved but had to give up?

What pain will you remove? The stigma attached to your vice and thus to you? The sickness of hiding something away from those you love? Hours of wasted time each week?

2. Don't do it alone. So many people don't tell others when they embark on a personal journey to leave something behind. I recommend you tell EVERYONE. Don't be sorry, just be true. Family first, including kids and spouse and siblings and even your parents. Everyone at work, at school, at church, and the neighbors, too. Invest a little bit of every single one of your interactions and relationships into your quest. Bring everyone with you--not just for support and not just for watchdog accountability, but also for true lifestyle change.

People in your environment are a big part of your environment. All around you, you should see, hear and feel your new version of yourself (sans Alpha Vice) reflected. You'll also get help. Possibly even annoyed. Oh well. It won't be annoying anymore once you get to a certain new stage. The one where the former vice has faded and simply isn't all that much of a hot topic.

3. Add desirable new behaviors to replace the old. And if a new Alpha rises to power, it should not be a vice. It should be a grace. When you add to your graces and charms, it makes the things you did before that weren't good for you seem so much less appealing now.

4. Identify and address triggers. What sets you off? Avoiding triggers isn't always possible, but expecting them and knowing what works for you at those times is very helpful. A journal can be useful in the identification process. Practice may be needed to learn what works for you when presented with a wooing from your Alpha Vice. If you do succumb to a trigger, you need to remember that it only means you learned something: what not to do. Good for you. Now carry on. Recover and shine.

5. Impose conflicting new behaviors on yourself to compete with your former controlling vice. This can be anything from going for a quick jog to see your friend instead of smoking, to eating a pickle instead of the daily donut at work, or brushing your teeth instead of lecturing your kid.

6. Reward yourself and make it good. Ousting the Alpha Vice is hard work. You'll reap plenty from what you sow, but an extra nudge along the way can work wonders. Each week you keep the vice at bay could buy you a new book or CD, or take you out to breakfast with the kids on the weekend, or earn you a hot bath with no interruptions. Each month, make it bigger. At the end of 3 months, boy oh boy, you deserve sumthin' real good. Spa day? New tree for the yard? New outfit, with accessories to match? It's up to you.

7. Know when you need more help. This is important. If you struggle with addiction, or have been self-sabotaging for the long term, or are dealing with psychological or personality disorder, or anything that you just can't get rid of on your own (so far) please get professional help! How do you know that's what you need? No reward seems great enough, nothing seems strong enough to combat your attachment and attraction, triggers are everywhere and you can't escape them, no new behavior can compete with the ruling power, or you have no support and no accountability and no one you feel you can tell.

You choose your life. If your life can move forward without some big vice that's holding you back, imagine how freeing that is. Imagine how your relationships--with yourself and others--can deepen and grow. Imagine how much pain you'll avoid and how much pleasure you'll gain. Imagine how great you will feel and how refreshing that will be. If you go ahead and give up One Thing, the very best thing you have to Kick from now on, is simply your own butt.

Take Me to Your Leader

Is there anything that you do, with unusual passion or with irresistible habitual regularity, that is bad for you? If so, then I believe we can call this thing a vice. A vice has different definitions, some of them referring to what is moral or legal, but for our purposes, we will define vice as something you do despite the fact that you know it is bad for you. It hurts you in some way, or takes something away from some other priority of yours.

Say you shop for expensive shoes and bags. That is not necessarily a vice. It is a preference, a hobby or even an obsession for some people. But if your shoe/bag/shopping habit makes you late with your rent or forces you to only afford .99 cent meals at the fast food window for a month, well, now it’s a vice. A potentially stylish habit gone ugly.

If this thing you do with unusual passion or irresistible habitual regularity detracts from your life--or your health, your goals and desires, your daily happiness or your relationships--and is so powerful of an attraction that all your other preferences, desires and obsessions pale in comparison, then we can call it your Alpha Vice.

The One Thing you can’t resist. The One Thing, which, if were you to rid yourself of it, would make the biggest difference once it was gone.

Not everyone has one of these, by the way. You could drink wine every day like I do and not experience any (known or suspected) negative effects on the rest of your life. You could smoke cigarettes and gamble away a thousand dollars once a year on New Year’s Eve, which is not great for you, but if it causes you no ongoing harm, it’s just a minor vice. On January 2nd you are tired as you do your new annual savings budget, and then you move on. If that’s really all you’ve got, don’t sweat it, those are small vice potatoes. We all have a few quirky obsessions. And fun treats on occasion should kept in our lives unless our aim is to live in Dullsville.

On the other hand, something like (the ever popular) sugar is a vice that often becomes more intrusive and derailing than the examples above. It feels more serious. It’s different--and you know it. I’ll use sweets as our main example in the section below.

Pick One Thing: Your Alpha Vice

Most of us have heard about the Alpha Male. In the animal kingdom he’s the wolf that leads the pack. He is king. He has earned his spot among his peers, and he is also “elected” in a way, to continue to hold this position. He will be challenged occasionally, and eventually there will be a successor who is stronger, with more stamina, more skills or more savvy. No matter what, though, Alpha Male, like Alpha Vice, rules. Until he is ousted or otherwise gone.

We should note, however, that Alpha Male is generally good for the pack, and Alpha Vice, as we’ve learned, is decidedly not. Your Alpha Vice has earned its spot by appealing to you above and beyond all reason, and then, is continually re-elected by you. But not out of respect: you allow your Alpha Vice into power out of weakness. That’s a rough position, because you’re the very one that has to put forth the challenge to oust your Vice. It’s hard to replace the Alpha. It takes strength, stamina, skills, savvy.

For some people, a prime example of an Alpha Vice is sugar. For example, perhaps there is sugar in your every day, in the form of sweets and colas, and then several times a day, and then in place of other healthier things you would also enjoy eating or drinking. Then it becomes sugar that you actively seek out when you have none available, as in rushing to a gas station get to a candy bar before picking someone up, or spending extra money you didn’t have at the bakery but it looked so good…then weight gain, or dental issues, or the jitters and the crashes, or heartburn…you do sugar in the face of the rising diabetes epidemic or even knowing that you are at higher risk due to your family history….

…until the frustrating realization that you have, indeed, appointed Sugar to be Leader among your eating Habits. If sugar (or convenience food or smoking or gossiping or the internet or porn or booze or an eating disorder or laziness or shopping or yelling at people, or a house filled with 18 cats, etc.) RULES, then you have yourself an Alpha Vice.

Time for a Coup
So, what will it bring you, to oust your Alpha Vice?

Vices can take over some of your better judgment, so you get that back. You get the satisfaction of knowing you are using your better judgment every time you do. Don’t underestimate what you get out of achieving something you set out to accomplish, or of being wise with your own choices. It feels good--and it will be more powerful than your weak choice on the side of the vice, for sure.

Alpha Vices hurt you, and not just once in a while. You get to stop doing things that make you feel worse, or that you know will be a problem when they catch up with you. You get to quit doing something that makes you feel bad about yourself, or that stops you from being your best self.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall and the more space they leave. You get to completely change your perspective and regular way of life just by giving up your Alpha Vice, because by the very nature of an Alpha Vice, you're being led into a certain way of being and a certain set of actions. Now you are in charge of filling in your To-Do and Way-to-Be Lists.

Everything good needs replacing. (That's Dave Matthews Band, in case it sounds familiar.) You get to replace your Alpha Vice with deliberate choices from a world of infinite possibilities! What will you do instead? How will that add to your life instead of take away from it?

Your mission at this point is to imagine the coup. Start some secret plans to oust your Alpha Vice and visualize how cool it’s going to be without it. Whether you’ll be saving calories or sugar grams or chemical additives or money or time or whatever, One Thing for sure is that you’ll be saving yourself the trouble of dealing with your Bad Leader.

Next time we talk, it will be about how to Kick One Thing… until then, prepare to fight!

You and Your Gene Genie (don't let yourself go!)

Preface: This isn't the first time I have referred to David Bowie lyrics in this collection One Things you can Pick. And it may not be the last. Just making sure you know I know. Oh, and if you want background music as you read: Bowie Video circa 1972

In the quest to be true to yourself and become all you can, to evolve and manifest the best in you and so on, you're bound to have run into a certain pack of stubborn dudes from inner space known to hang out in your cells' nuclei. I'm talkin' about the notorious DNA gang. You know--fancy threads, secret codes you can't crack, hardly any sense of humor....

Also known as your genes. Here at blog time we have word on up to about 20,000 of them and counting*, each responsible for different little bits of you, able to be mixed and matched in seemingly endless combinations. Many experts won't even estimate how many human traits might be owed to genetics, but some estimate at least 60% of everything you are is nature over nurture.

But nurture does have one significant power that can trump nature in a variety of ways. Unlike DNA, nurture is not predetermined. You are NOT a done deal. When it comes to your genes, you can't really change what they say and usually you can't change what they do. But you can change how they show up in your life, and where, and when, and how much if at all. You are a work in progress. Indeed, you have a magical genie inside of you that will hear your wishes and grant many of them (within reason) if only you will work at the wishes in the right way.
Let's try it.

Oh, Genie of the Genes. Hear my wish. I want smaller feet.

Okay, so there's a good example of a wish that is not within reason. Some of the notorious DNA just has to be lived with and worked around. Foot size is one of them. I know, Japanese girls endured foot binding to try to keep their feet small way back when. But that was not working with Gene Genie's power; that was manipulating and deforming for no good reason.

Let's revise. Your wishes must be within reason, and for good reason.

For example, you can't change the genes that determine the color, texture and thickness of your hair. But you can change your hair. Nurture it, so to speak, with a box of hair dye, a flat iron or perm, and voila, you've gone up against the DNA gang and won this round. This wish was within reason. (Lyric connection alert: he says he's a beautician...)

You also can't change the genes, if you have them (and about 33% of you do**), that come from European ancestors, which carry a predisposition to certain aspects of obesity. Something to do with how your body stores stuff as fat and certain chemical processes that tell these fat burners or storers to switch on or off. But can you rub your partly European tummy and make a wish?

Oh, Gene Genie, I wish not to fall victim to obesity even though I have the genetics that encourage that sort of thing.
POOF! You are now Amish.

See, Amish people have that gene a lot of the time, and they have had it for a long time, because Amish people have historically married other Amish people. There's a lot of strong genetics as a result. But guess what? For good reason, Amish people are way less obese with fewer health risks overall than the non-Amish locals in town. This is because the Gene Genie responds very well to the regular physical labor and clean diets of the typical Amish lifestyle. (Lyric alert expanded: he says he's a beautician and he sells you nutrition...)

We all were born with gifts and challenges. When you run into a stubborn showing of the notorious DNA gang, go Amish on its butt. Say, your've got a body type you don't like, or a health condition or a slower metabolism than you'd prefer; what you need is to call upon your inner genie. Get the Gene Genie's attention! Pick One Thing: within reason, for good reason. And do the work while you make your wish know. Don't let DNA bully you. Be a rebel, rebel. (See Preface)

* You can learn more about those crazy smart molecular biologist types and all they have to say about your DNA as part of the human genome project via the the NCBI via the National Institutes of Health...and you can also see a really basic map of the genomes themselves, which I must admit is really underwhelming at first, here:
Human Genome Map and More

** You can read a Time magazine article on the study that showed how the old-fashioned lifestyle of the Amish indicates that behavior can trump genetics, here: Amish People Overrule Some Prevalent Genes

And if you're still interested in proving to yourself that you do indeed have a Gene Genie, consider this study, the results of which are not yet published. Same heritage of Indian tribes, similar genetics, but different lifestyles, looks like Westernized living is losing again...

Put On Your Red Shoes

I've been mesmerized by this photo, searching for it repeatedly, and posting it here without express permission but with the utmost respect and admiration for its owner, the Pennsylvania Ballet. This shot is from the Ballet's website for the 2009/10 season. Just look at it, ahhh....And then look again--yes, those are both male and female bodies on that stage in those skirts.

As I gawk at the sight of these dancers from behind, I remember the phrase "ballerina back" (closely related to ballerina butt, but higher up). The backs of dancers are traditionally so well-developed and defined. In bodybuilder terms we might call them "cut". So what's the deal with dancers' workouts that helps them achieve these enviable backs?

For male dancers, it's a little more obvious. Pro ballet men regular lift weights-- heavy weights actually--in the form of human bodies (their female partners). But for a woman, and for the corps of men who don't get much pas de deux (steps of two) work, those ballet backs still stand out as remarkable.

This is the answer, then, as far as I can figure it:

1. They hold their arms up a lot. Every day. Their arms, plus gravity, equal enough weight to stimulate muscle development of the shoulders and back.
2. They do some cardio via their dancing, but it's in intervals of varying intensity. Dancers are interval trainers. They go slow, then very fast... they alternate body weight exercise with powerful jumps and leaps... they work hard, and get sweaty and tired and sore. They are fine work horses, and it shows.
3. They don't have a lot of body fat, and especially no back fat, as a result of numbers 1. and 2. And they take care of their bodies with proper athlete nutrition. Or at least, it looks that way. If they ate too little, they'd be skinny. If they ate too much or ate a lot of junk, they wouldn't be able to do what they do for long enough to make it on to this level of stage posing.

Can we imitate? In some ways, sure we can. But if we have a sedentary or lightly active job, versus a physical one that requires lifting and arms up and sweating and intense intervals of various type of exercises, then we probably can't expect to be quite where these ballerina backs are at. Plus they're probably all between the ages of 20 and mid-thirties, tops. They make doing what it takes to be in this sort of shape the main focus of their lives, too.

But all that aside, we can imitate to a certain degree. If you like good back, lift more, and use your arms out in front, out at your sides and up over head more. Eat well and eat enough. Train in intervals of intense cardio, full body power moves, and body weight strength moves.

Orrrrrr.... you could sign up for some ballet classes, maybe? Whatever you choose, if you Pick One Thing and that Thing is Your Back, make sure you take some time to check it out from behind once in a while. We spend so much time looking at the fronts of ourselves, it's nice to focus on the beauty from rear sometimes.

Enjoy the view!