As a fitness instructor, I am made distinctly aware of the inner dialogue of dozens of people I meet with each week. At my studio, we’re in an environment where people tend to feel comfortable (we’re all in this together), but also tend to feel self-focused (I’m really trying to work on myself). It’s a second family of sorts, but better in some ways, as we’re all just distant enough not to have to carry our entire existence in through the doors with us each time we come to work out. We get to choose what to share for the most part.
Of course, we don’t always make a conscious choice. We often reveal our inner beliefs via our internal self-chat without even realizing it. And that’s where my distinct awareness comes in. In my job as a trainer, I’m there to notice stuff about people. So I do pick up on the clues sent out by their bodies and their minds. And their mouths.
~ Oh I hate those, I stink at those.
~ Something’s wrong with me, I still can’t do this right.
~ No matter how hard I try, I’m just not meant to (fill in the blank).
~ If I could only get rid of this gut, maybe I could do it, but we know that’s not happening.
~ haha I’m uncoordinated; heehee too bad I’m just like my mother; ugh I'm so stupid
Don’t get me wrong, inspiration still very much exists and so does self-confidence. We share plenty of all that too. Mostly I’m there to encourage all the positive actions people take on behalf of themselves. Positive actions tend to originate in positive thoughts, which come from positive beliefs. For this reason, positive people like me do well in our industry—success breeds enthusiasm and so getting people to recognize their successes from the inside out is a hallmark of my work. Let's say I'm the Prop in Propaganda.
Negative self-talk, which exists in its own little world that many people create in an icky small corners of their mind, is a very serious threat to the spreading of my shiny happy sunshine love of health, fitness and self. So, an important part of my job is pointing out to people when it seems like they might be telling us something based on a story they made up about themselves, though not necessarily true, and then they started to believe it, but like we said, it’s not true.
NO ONE IS JUST LIKE THEIR MOTHER. That knowledge alone should help millions.
To Overcome Whatever’s the Matter,
Pick Your Mind over Your Chatter
Sometimes we’re working out and we’re very much able to focus on the matter at hand. The matter. The kind of matter that exists, physically. The matter that is the body, the exercise, the muscle, the breath, the heavy spring or the wall we’re pressing against. Our mind is able to teach us how much more we can do, how much longer we can go. It is also able to simmer us down; it'll raise red flags when we’re out of our zone, losing touch with the reality of the matter.
All good. Thank you higher mind, for keeping us connected with concepts greater than our contained, physics-bound bodies can sometimes process. Notions like, “Hey, are you sure you want to keep trying to beat that kid whose half your age, cuz it seems like your legs are giving out and I think you’re gonna throw up.”
Then again, no thank you higher-mind-in-disguise (lower mind?), because you are less about the matter and more about the chatter: “You know, you do have to go to work tomorrow. That sucks. And you’re not a huge fan of push-ups either. They’re really not doing you much good anyway, look at you. You can barely….” STOP.
Literally. I have this theory and it’s been working pretty well so far—I’m actually able to cure many of my own personality dysfunctions when I just shut up about myself already. I can really elevate my functioning when take the focus off all my own opinions about me, and my opinions of your opinions about me, and instead, I just do my best and accept the results as they come. Make additional plans as needed.
This week, this month, hopefully the rest of your life, whenever you feel stuck or catch yourself being a jerk to yourself, you can Pick your Mind, instead. Your Mind is above all the harsh nagging and self-criticism. I mean, listen to yourself sometimes. How rude would some of that stuff be to say about someone else, if it wasn't you? You can do better by yourself. You can be honest with yourself. Be real. There really isn’t anything holding you back besides the stories you believe about yourself, now is there?
The higher mind has your back. The lower mind—the thoughtless chatterbox in your head--has your rug and likes to pull it out from under you. However, the higher mind has the quieter voice, and a matter-of-fact approach that must compete with the vibrant storytelling and constant attention-getting of your inner dialogue. So you need to put forth some effort not to let all that chatter distract you from the matter at hand.
The matter at hand is simple: determine what’s true, and what can be done about it, now.
Then just do that.
k?
Great. Okeedokee then, back to work.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
So. It Really IS What It Is.
Mind your manners. Do you mind? Put your mind to it! Who is minding the store? I have a lot on my mind.
The mind can mean many things to many people. A most useful aspect of the mind is how it is able to be applied. You can keep important things and people and events in mind. You can have a mind for math. So the mind is versatile, and also highly directable. We can give much credit to the focused mind for our accomplishments.
But there are other aspects the mind that are perhaps even more beneficial than its ability to be applied: the mind’s ability to be open, and also to be present. This is what we can call “mindfulness.” It’s almost the opposite of putting your mind to it, in that it’s taking a load off your mind. Taking a load off your mind on a regular basis sounds good, doesn’t it? It is good. Cultivating mindfulness can truly change our lives. Because it changes our minds. From doing to experiencing. From questioning to observing. From not now to right now. From unknown to known. From seeking to having. Mindfulness delivers.
Mindfulness allows for discovery. Stargazers become Copernicus. At the moment he realizes the earth is not the center of the universe, Copernicus isn’t thinking about how the church is going to freak out when he tells them. (Even though they sort of do freak out, had he not been mindful of the movements of the heavens and open to observing whatever they might show him, he might have gotten caught up in the that’s-not-what-everybody-else-think-s or the what’s-gonna-happen-next-s. He might have missed his discovery altogether. He wasn’t seeking THE answer, either. He was looking, noticing and recognizing. As a result, his mindfulness brought the modern view of the solar system to all of mankind. Copernicus was paying attention.
Mindfulness also allows for connection. Bringing awareness to an experience literally joins the experiencer to the event. A mother bonds with her child at birth. These days the daddy does too, because he gets to be right there, not waiting elsewhere. Their child is born, and they aren’t hearing a crying baby or remembering back five minutes to those horrible labor pains or seeing a bunch of blood…they are instead mindful of the miracle of their child, who is now born. They are now one in that event, in an utterly unique and valuable way.
When it comes to taking care of yourself, and honoring yourself inside and out, there’s no doubt that mindfulness is a worthy practice. Think about it, you don’t see a lot of agitated, frustrated monks. Mindfulness elevates the business of being human. It does the work and doesn’t complain and doesn’t diminish. Mindfulness helps you deal with stress, and make no mistake, stress kills...people, yes, but it also kills good times and opportunities. But mindfulness can be elusive, because it’s more about what it’s not, than what it is. It’s not religious and it’s not athletic and it’s not academic and it’s not even creative. It just is. And that’s all. Don’t add anything to it.
I must admit, I do find it kind of hard. But I shouldn’t. Calling it hard is actually the exact opposite of mindfulness in relation to me trying to be mindful about it.
Pick One Thing: Your Mind(fulness)
An excerpt from Sylvia Boorstein’s writing on mindfulness that tells me how simple it really is: “Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience. It isn't more complicated that that. It is opening to or receiving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is, without either clinging to it or rejecting it.”
Sylvia Boorstein should know; she’s written a few books on the subject and one of them is titled just for me: It’s Easier Than You Think: The Buddhist Way to Happiness. Accepting the present experience as it is means you have to allow your mind to be open to whatever is happening, without judgment.
Sample: I am eating a meal that took me a long time to prepare and no one else at the table seems to appreciate it, even though I thought specifically of them while selecting a dish I thought they would enjoy. My emotions want to go anywhere from feelings of rejection to labeling others as ungrateful, and I don’t even realize it. I’m too busy getting a little bent out of shape. My immediate actions could range from sarcastic comments bordering on martyrdom (“Well I guess I won’t bother slaving away in a hot kitchen with expensive ingredients anymore since you’re all more interested in arguing about what’s on television tonight…”) to eating in silence while sulking and feeling bad about my wasted effort. Or bad about myself, because really who cares and why do I need credit?
Mindfulness practice: I am eating a meal which I selected with care and prepared with my own two hands. It tastes like the garden, with rustic spices and a comforting sauciness. I am surrounded by my family while we all eat this meal. They are conversing and bantering about what might be important to them at this moment. My kitchen is filled with voices and scents of a lovingly prepared meal.
When I am mindful, what stands out in the experience is naturally what means the most to me. I get to choose what I’m paying attention to, right? I’m the experiencer and I’m open to the event in the present and that allows for discovery and connects me with the event (and the people who are joined by it). I don’t feel like telling my family to shove the vegetable lasagna down their that-show-sucks/no-it-doesn’t pie holes anymore. It’s not idyllic but it’s not resentful either. What is it? It’s food. It’s us. I do bring up a new subject for us to converse about. And I mention that I really enjoy the lasagna, I’m glad I tried making it this way. Whatever their responses are, I accept them as their tastes and their opinion of the recipe (not of ME).
The Buddha (big mindfulness guy) said, “Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts.” Ain’t that the truth… If you’re not mindful, you’re likely to think all sorts of stuff that has nothing to do with what’s really happening. It’s not about optimism, it’s not about ignorance--it’s about what it is about.
Cultivate some for yourself today. Pick a moment to live. Don’t react, just experience. Ahhh. It’s just that simple. If we all would make a new daily habit of mindfulness, I think we might change the world.
The mind can mean many things to many people. A most useful aspect of the mind is how it is able to be applied. You can keep important things and people and events in mind. You can have a mind for math. So the mind is versatile, and also highly directable. We can give much credit to the focused mind for our accomplishments.
But there are other aspects the mind that are perhaps even more beneficial than its ability to be applied: the mind’s ability to be open, and also to be present. This is what we can call “mindfulness.” It’s almost the opposite of putting your mind to it, in that it’s taking a load off your mind. Taking a load off your mind on a regular basis sounds good, doesn’t it? It is good. Cultivating mindfulness can truly change our lives. Because it changes our minds. From doing to experiencing. From questioning to observing. From not now to right now. From unknown to known. From seeking to having. Mindfulness delivers.
Mindfulness allows for discovery. Stargazers become Copernicus. At the moment he realizes the earth is not the center of the universe, Copernicus isn’t thinking about how the church is going to freak out when he tells them. (Even though they sort of do freak out, had he not been mindful of the movements of the heavens and open to observing whatever they might show him, he might have gotten caught up in the that’s-not-what-everybody-else-think-s or the what’s-gonna-happen-next-s. He might have missed his discovery altogether. He wasn’t seeking THE answer, either. He was looking, noticing and recognizing. As a result, his mindfulness brought the modern view of the solar system to all of mankind. Copernicus was paying attention.
Mindfulness also allows for connection. Bringing awareness to an experience literally joins the experiencer to the event. A mother bonds with her child at birth. These days the daddy does too, because he gets to be right there, not waiting elsewhere. Their child is born, and they aren’t hearing a crying baby or remembering back five minutes to those horrible labor pains or seeing a bunch of blood…they are instead mindful of the miracle of their child, who is now born. They are now one in that event, in an utterly unique and valuable way.
When it comes to taking care of yourself, and honoring yourself inside and out, there’s no doubt that mindfulness is a worthy practice. Think about it, you don’t see a lot of agitated, frustrated monks. Mindfulness elevates the business of being human. It does the work and doesn’t complain and doesn’t diminish. Mindfulness helps you deal with stress, and make no mistake, stress kills...people, yes, but it also kills good times and opportunities. But mindfulness can be elusive, because it’s more about what it’s not, than what it is. It’s not religious and it’s not athletic and it’s not academic and it’s not even creative. It just is. And that’s all. Don’t add anything to it.
I must admit, I do find it kind of hard. But I shouldn’t. Calling it hard is actually the exact opposite of mindfulness in relation to me trying to be mindful about it.
Pick One Thing: Your Mind(fulness)
An excerpt from Sylvia Boorstein’s writing on mindfulness that tells me how simple it really is: “Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience. It isn't more complicated that that. It is opening to or receiving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is, without either clinging to it or rejecting it.”
Sylvia Boorstein should know; she’s written a few books on the subject and one of them is titled just for me: It’s Easier Than You Think: The Buddhist Way to Happiness. Accepting the present experience as it is means you have to allow your mind to be open to whatever is happening, without judgment.
Sample: I am eating a meal that took me a long time to prepare and no one else at the table seems to appreciate it, even though I thought specifically of them while selecting a dish I thought they would enjoy. My emotions want to go anywhere from feelings of rejection to labeling others as ungrateful, and I don’t even realize it. I’m too busy getting a little bent out of shape. My immediate actions could range from sarcastic comments bordering on martyrdom (“Well I guess I won’t bother slaving away in a hot kitchen with expensive ingredients anymore since you’re all more interested in arguing about what’s on television tonight…”) to eating in silence while sulking and feeling bad about my wasted effort. Or bad about myself, because really who cares and why do I need credit?
Mindfulness practice: I am eating a meal which I selected with care and prepared with my own two hands. It tastes like the garden, with rustic spices and a comforting sauciness. I am surrounded by my family while we all eat this meal. They are conversing and bantering about what might be important to them at this moment. My kitchen is filled with voices and scents of a lovingly prepared meal.
When I am mindful, what stands out in the experience is naturally what means the most to me. I get to choose what I’m paying attention to, right? I’m the experiencer and I’m open to the event in the present and that allows for discovery and connects me with the event (and the people who are joined by it). I don’t feel like telling my family to shove the vegetable lasagna down their that-show-sucks/no-it-doesn’t pie holes anymore. It’s not idyllic but it’s not resentful either. What is it? It’s food. It’s us. I do bring up a new subject for us to converse about. And I mention that I really enjoy the lasagna, I’m glad I tried making it this way. Whatever their responses are, I accept them as their tastes and their opinion of the recipe (not of ME).
The Buddha (big mindfulness guy) said, “Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts.” Ain’t that the truth… If you’re not mindful, you’re likely to think all sorts of stuff that has nothing to do with what’s really happening. It’s not about optimism, it’s not about ignorance--it’s about what it is about.
Cultivate some for yourself today. Pick a moment to live. Don’t react, just experience. Ahhh. It’s just that simple. If we all would make a new daily habit of mindfulness, I think we might change the world.
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