This might be the absolute easiest One Thing I could write about for you to Pick. If you’re going to honor and take care of something about yourself, what could be a simpler project than choosing what you do? It’s harder to pick your job, your home, and your friends, than it is to pick your activities. It’s much harder still to pick your family or your economic status or your looks, given how much of those things are (at least partially) outside of your control. But how to occupy your time? Other than your favorite moral and legal obligations, that’s pretty much up to you.
Your Activities
So let’s keep this project simple. Answer some basic questions and we’ll have a laundry list of activities that are worth your consideration. Don’t dwell too long or think too deep--just answer off the cuff, from the heart. You’re not committing to anything at this point, don’t worry. You can say the same answer more than once, or not. You can not have an answer, or you can have several. It’s you, talking about you. No wrong responses.
1. What do you like to do?
2. What have you always enjoyed, since childhood?
3. If you weren’t limited by time pressures, what would you like to do, or do more of?
4. What have you always wanted to try?
5. What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
6. What would you do if you only had the talent (or body or money) for it?
7. If you had a whole day to spend on only your own desires, with no restrictions and no one needing you for any reason, what would you do with that day?
8. If you had to pick one thing to do today that was completely enjoyable for you, that you don’t have on your itinerary already, what would it be?
9. What’s on your “bucket list?”
10. If you sensed your time on the planet was increasingly limited, what would you want to be doing with it?
That should be enough investigation for us. If you’re like me, at this point, your list is far too long to be entirely practical in the immediate future. I’m interested in almost everything, it seems. But when I look a little closer, I see some repeating themes.
If nothing else, I can narrow down my list by focusing on questions 7 and 8. When we view our desires through the lens of one day, or one activity that strikes us as doable in the present, then we’re on to something. Case in point: I’ve been bemoaning my lack of reading for pleasure for years now. Years and years. I love reading and have high aspirations for all the reading I’m going to do at some point or want to be doing right now. Yet I don’t make the time for some reason. Many reasons. It’s a great example. Here is an activity that is contained in my answers to 7 of the above 10 questions!
What’s stopping me? Nothing. Literally nothing, on most days, except my lack of effort. My non-choosing. I believe in the idea that, if you show me what you spend your money and time on, I’ll show you your priorities. For me, this activity I love and aspire to, which is so readily available to me, it not a priority.
Now I ask you this: other than unplanned urgent matters, who selects my priorities for me?
So there we go. Nothing is simpler than this concept. It’s life-changing. What do you want to do? And really, what’s stopping you? Got a 20-year project requiring a million dollars you don’t have? Well, if you want to, you can do it. It’s a project. You pick it. Get on the fundraising shtick and start the 20 most purposeful years of your life, then.
On the other hand, make sure you’re actually listening to your heart’s desires; not just assuming what you think you want is what you really want. I know we sometimes feel we’re supposed to want to do things, maybe we’re even good at something so it seems ripe for the picking… but mmmm, nope, if we’re honest, it’s not a real want, it’s a fabricated one.
Therein is the very crux of procrastination as well as all those abandoned unfinished projects. Like how I keep thinking I want to crochet some nice gifts with all the yarn I’m storing. But today I realized, no, I don’t want to. I think I should want to, however “crochet nice gifts” or “use up my yarn” is not on my bucket list, and it’s not what I would wish to spend one whole unencumbered day doing, nor is it something I really want to fit in more of as my time on this planet is increasingly limited.
I believe we allow a small undercurrent of tragedy to exist in so many of our lives, especially caretakers’ lives, which are often the lives of women: we don’t choose to do what we want, even though it is our choice. We don’t agree that what we desire is in us for a reason. We are supposed to do what we desire, though. We need to, in order to be whole and satisfied and purposeful, right? Do we actually accept that we are NOT supposed to do what we wish to do? That we are supposed to live our lives toiling away without any reward in activities that we choose, for ourselves, based on our own wants?
I hope we can make a new agreement with ourselves in this particular project: let’s agree that our life is filled with our actions, and our actions are our choice.
I’d love to hear your comments on this topic….but not until you’ve made a commitment to your own activities, and prioritized them accordingly. According to what you want. And then do them. Don’t forget that part. As for me, now I’m going to read a few pages of the book I started a couple months ago and I’m going to keep doing that, for the rest of my life.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
Enviro-Mental Considerations
We've finished Picking our Minds over the last several posts, and now I'd like to move us into a new mental space. Consider your environment. Your environment is anywhere you do anything. It's not only the place, it's the people and things, too. It's your home, and your belongings, and your family, and your pets. It's your neighborhood, and your town, and your country and your climate. It's your place of employment, and your co-workers, and your boss, and your desk.
That's not just one Thing to Pick, now is it? Environment is huge. Plus, you likely have several. Each day. I'll have to concede, we could do an entire year-long series of Project Pick One Thing: Your Environment, just to cover the breadth of this topic. So for now, we'll specialize--we're picking Your Fitness Environment. (Next time, your nutritional environment.) And that's it. Because we can't pick everything....
"Behind You!"
If you ever worked in a restaurant you know this phrase. Without it, collisions are likely. People might get hurt, or heaven forbid, food might be lost on it's way out to the table. When you're in an environment where everyone is focused on similar, but not exactly the same, goals, it's important you feel supported but also know you're accountable for your own results. Good restaurants are like that, and so are good work environments. Actually, households work well in this way, too. And so do places of fitness.
Unfortunately, a great many people find the wrong environments for their own goals when they're seeking a place of fitness. Big gyms are an exciting playground for some, an affordable family activity for others, and a giant scary house of mirrors for others still. Small gyms with a focus on heavy lifting might be filled with a certain intensity that isn't right for a yogi just trying to get on a cardio machine once in a while. Home workout areas complete with dvds and stretchy bands can be far too underwhelming and lonely to motivate some people to regular workouts. For others, home is the absolute best health haven.
So, who's behind you? Who has your back? Tennis clubs are an environment. So are running clubs, fight clubs and country clubs. A quiet backyard where only the breeze and the windchimes are behind you, that's an environment, too. You have a lot of choices when it comes to the places, tools and people you'll choose for your fitness environment. Be thoughtful about your choices. Experiment, keep an open mind, trust your instincts, and believe anything is worth trying for a bit. When you find the environment(s) you like best, it should feel like your effort is paying off each time you're there. It should be a part of your lifestyle, not something you dread, nor an itchy uncomfortable fit.
Then again, you never know, not until you try. Big pro male athletes must be brave to enter the Pilates studio and give it a try, but when they do, they often learn it's a great environment for them to finesse and balance out all their other physical endeavors. Slim young girls must be brave to step up to the heavy plates and learn to hoist them above their heads while standing next to big pro male athletes, but when they do, they often learn it's a great environment to grow their own abilities in ways no one had really suggested before.
Proof in point: the following two videos for you to watch. Take the 15 minutes to get through both. It will help you start to form ideas about the type of environment(s) you want to place yourself in, to be fit, feel good and have fun.
In the Laura Plumey Crossfit video below, you'll witness a girl who competes with herself first and foremost, and it's incredible what she can and will do. I don't know Laura, and I don't do Crossfit, but I can spot an amazing competitor when I see one... You can view plenty of them, via the Crossfit program, but I'm sharing this video with you so you can focus on this one person working, in an environment that is both comfortable and motivating for her. The support and instructions she receives are a blessing. But even more than that I think the energy she's able to draw from this room of likeminded people really does the trick. When you're feeling at home/in a zone within the right environment, like this shot above featuring the women of Crossfit Portland, it can offer an emotional and mental boost that's hard to beat. Watch how Laura shines in this room, it's really inspiring: Crossfit Challenge: Laura Plumey
Now to contrast the first video, but also compare it, I'm sharing this lovely collection of scenes from an open gym Pilates class with 80-something Romana Kryzanowska, former ballerina and the first person given the blessing to teach Joe Pilates' method, after Joe and Clara Pilates themselves. At first glance, it seems that here is an entirely different environment for those working out. In many ways it is. But hang in there, and the similarities will start to hit you. The support and guidance of Romana, the independent pursuits of the students who are working on and with themselves first and foremost. When you get to minute 7 or so, you'll really start to see how nuts some Pilates practitioners are on that equipment, and how strong. Because they love it, it inspires them, they applaud when finished. The sharing of energy is also key: Elaine's Pilates Blog: Beautiful Pilates Video
So, there are just two of infinity, when it comes to places where, things with, and people with whom, you might spend your fitness time. If it's effective, and you're not hurting yourself, and it makes you feel good, you're on the right track. But if you're mentally fatigued by, or emotionally drained because of, or as excited as a dead fish when it comes time to go to your fitness place, then please, tweak it. Consideration number 1: YOU. You are ALWAYS the central component of ANY of your environments.
Just as this day cannot exist without you in it, your environment is nothing more than what you perceive it to be. Make it a great one.
That's not just one Thing to Pick, now is it? Environment is huge. Plus, you likely have several. Each day. I'll have to concede, we could do an entire year-long series of Project Pick One Thing: Your Environment, just to cover the breadth of this topic. So for now, we'll specialize--we're picking Your Fitness Environment. (Next time, your nutritional environment.) And that's it. Because we can't pick everything....
"Behind You!"
If you ever worked in a restaurant you know this phrase. Without it, collisions are likely. People might get hurt, or heaven forbid, food might be lost on it's way out to the table. When you're in an environment where everyone is focused on similar, but not exactly the same, goals, it's important you feel supported but also know you're accountable for your own results. Good restaurants are like that, and so are good work environments. Actually, households work well in this way, too. And so do places of fitness.
Unfortunately, a great many people find the wrong environments for their own goals when they're seeking a place of fitness. Big gyms are an exciting playground for some, an affordable family activity for others, and a giant scary house of mirrors for others still. Small gyms with a focus on heavy lifting might be filled with a certain intensity that isn't right for a yogi just trying to get on a cardio machine once in a while. Home workout areas complete with dvds and stretchy bands can be far too underwhelming and lonely to motivate some people to regular workouts. For others, home is the absolute best health haven.
So, who's behind you? Who has your back? Tennis clubs are an environment. So are running clubs, fight clubs and country clubs. A quiet backyard where only the breeze and the windchimes are behind you, that's an environment, too. You have a lot of choices when it comes to the places, tools and people you'll choose for your fitness environment. Be thoughtful about your choices. Experiment, keep an open mind, trust your instincts, and believe anything is worth trying for a bit. When you find the environment(s) you like best, it should feel like your effort is paying off each time you're there. It should be a part of your lifestyle, not something you dread, nor an itchy uncomfortable fit.
Then again, you never know, not until you try. Big pro male athletes must be brave to enter the Pilates studio and give it a try, but when they do, they often learn it's a great environment for them to finesse and balance out all their other physical endeavors. Slim young girls must be brave to step up to the heavy plates and learn to hoist them above their heads while standing next to big pro male athletes, but when they do, they often learn it's a great environment to grow their own abilities in ways no one had really suggested before.
Proof in point: the following two videos for you to watch. Take the 15 minutes to get through both. It will help you start to form ideas about the type of environment(s) you want to place yourself in, to be fit, feel good and have fun.
In the Laura Plumey Crossfit video below, you'll witness a girl who competes with herself first and foremost, and it's incredible what she can and will do. I don't know Laura, and I don't do Crossfit, but I can spot an amazing competitor when I see one... You can view plenty of them, via the Crossfit program, but I'm sharing this video with you so you can focus on this one person working, in an environment that is both comfortable and motivating for her. The support and instructions she receives are a blessing. But even more than that I think the energy she's able to draw from this room of likeminded people really does the trick. When you're feeling at home/in a zone within the right environment, like this shot above featuring the women of Crossfit Portland, it can offer an emotional and mental boost that's hard to beat. Watch how Laura shines in this room, it's really inspiring: Crossfit Challenge: Laura Plumey
Now to contrast the first video, but also compare it, I'm sharing this lovely collection of scenes from an open gym Pilates class with 80-something Romana Kryzanowska, former ballerina and the first person given the blessing to teach Joe Pilates' method, after Joe and Clara Pilates themselves. At first glance, it seems that here is an entirely different environment for those working out. In many ways it is. But hang in there, and the similarities will start to hit you. The support and guidance of Romana, the independent pursuits of the students who are working on and with themselves first and foremost. When you get to minute 7 or so, you'll really start to see how nuts some Pilates practitioners are on that equipment, and how strong. Because they love it, it inspires them, they applaud when finished. The sharing of energy is also key: Elaine's Pilates Blog: Beautiful Pilates Video
So, there are just two of infinity, when it comes to places where, things with, and people with whom, you might spend your fitness time. If it's effective, and you're not hurting yourself, and it makes you feel good, you're on the right track. But if you're mentally fatigued by, or emotionally drained because of, or as excited as a dead fish when it comes time to go to your fitness place, then please, tweak it. Consideration number 1: YOU. You are ALWAYS the central component of ANY of your environments.
Just as this day cannot exist without you in it, your environment is nothing more than what you perceive it to be. Make it a great one.
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