Sexual Health and Sensual Wellness

The title of today's article is more straightforward than usual, and that is an intentional nod to the need for people to be straightforward in considering and caring for their own sexuality. Honor yourself as a sexual being of some sort. I'm not about to try to define or limit what that is for you.

As individuals, we are each of us a unique set of desires and wishes, fantasies and motivations. Your gender identity, your sexual contacts, your sensual expressions notwithstanding, there is also a little matter of what smokes your shorts, what turns you off, what's safe and what's available, what's not at all worth it and what now looking back was a mistake.... All this makes it seem, and perhaps rightly so, that human sexuality is a many splendored and highly complex topic. However that shouldn't stop anyone from owning and enjoying their own. And speaking of it in the matter of fact tone it deserves as an integral component of you being a person.

So, whether your currently express your sensual side by sleeping on silk sheets all by your lonesome, or whether you are madly hot for your wife and can hardly hold yourself back, or whether you are a porn star or a contentious abstainer, fine fine fine... just know your own self and apply appropriate guidelines and boundaries according to your own heart and soul. And if you're not experienced or confident enough to do that, will you at least take care of your own sexuality by reading up on it a little?

Here are some leads to help you educate yourself instinctively and intellectually on the deep topic of booty and gettin' some. Or not. Same thing with babies, sexually transmitted diseases, and boyfriends. Some things will work better for you than others.

Pick One Thing: Sexuality

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)offers a host of topics on their website under the heading "Sexual Health." I like that. They provide a definition based on one adopted several years ago by the World Health Organization:

Sexual health is a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence.

I like that too. Covers all manner of makin' whoopie, from the consenting, adult perspective. If you Pick One Thing to focus on regarding you sexual health, I would use this definition to do an honest assessment of this part of your being. I know, I, for one, have not always experienced optimum sexual health. Not because of disease or dysfunction, but because of poor choices or disregard for my real feelings. I was younger than then now, of course, but for many people, life stages bring all sorts of challenges and new information to consider when it comes to sexuality.

The World Health Organization (WHO) offers a global view with research studies and publications to help broaden your view of all the things that might affect you, or be important to you or someone you know, concerning sexual AND reproductive health.

Reproduction is a whole other element of sexual health that many people I know have worked very hard on. We can see, the medical field and researchers are clearly on it. Healthcare understands that people want healthy pregnancies and babies. If this is your current quest, you probably already know as much as many of the doctors advising you. It can be almost all-consuming to some folks. But it's important. So, I share with all of you, this website, which I hope you'll find of interest or pass it on: WHO Sexual and Reproductive Health

And finally, there's Sensuality. For some of us, this will be easier. For others, clues will be required. That's alright, there's no one kind of sensuality. Look at the word. The root word is sense. You've got senses; you know what smells great to you, what tastes divine, what feels like heaven and looks like a dream. Whatever makes you feel fabulous, that's your sensuality right there, and that's why each person's is unique. You scratch my back, I'll tickle your feet...that sort of thing, there's something for everyone. It's nice when you're aware of your own.

Sensuality is an extension of the senses we all have, but as an outpost, it can sometimes be diminished, overlooked, neglected or forgotten about all too easily. Go out there this week and visit with yours, okay? Red pumps or red lips or a redhead; or a big bowl of romance topped with red sauce and meatballs.

Don't limit your view or label your expectations. Sensuality isn't as difficult as many people make it: whatever it is to you, it's already in there. Here's a terrific read on the topic on the Beautiful Women blog. (Men will get something out of it, too.) I've always said, "We choose to be inspired." I could add, "We choose to be aroused." Wellness includes all your senses. Enjoy yourself.

Treasure Pleasure

When it comes to enjoying yourself, there's no time like the present. Pleasures are essential ingredients in every day life. In the midst of suffering as much as in the midst of reverie. You cannot go another day without making sure you extract some pleasure out of it if you are to benefit at all from Project Pick One Thing. Pick Pleasure, now, today, I mean it. It's that important.

Not feeling very inspired toward pleasure-picking? I understand. Sometimes we get into such a rut that it's tough to see up and outta there, into the zone where things are sweet or fun or luxurious or resplendent or humorous. If illness or money worries or bad weather or the bogey man has got you down, let me help you with a few simple tips for creating a pleasing moment.

• There's a little fat book called, 14,000 Things To Be Happy About. If you can't think of a way to take pleasure in each day, try looking at that book. Surely 14,000 things is enough to get you started on a list of your own.
• Actually, there are many notable books on pleasure. Do an online search or scope out the topic at the library. Beyond the emotional and biological, there is the social aspect of pleasure, too. There are entire cultures who practice pleasure, on purpose, as a life principal. Forget the psychoanalysts on this one. Look for books on island culture, or hedonism, or Costa Rica or Denmark. The latter two countries are mentioned because they've been found to be the happiest people, by their own measure and admission. Here's an article to point you in the right direction: The Happiest People
• Sense pleasure. Taste something delicious, smell something wonderful, feel something soothing, look at something beautiful, listen to something that rocks. Most of us have a pleasure around every corner in our homes, just waiting to be enjoyed--a cold crisp tart apple, a fresh pot of coffee, a bit of art or photo album, an old recording, a buried pair of pajama bottoms so well-worn your knee marks show through them. ahhhh.
• Name names. Call an old friend who makes you laugh. Read your favorite author, again. Watch your favorite movie star. Cook a recipe from your favorite chef. Write a letter to your grandchild. Thank the grocery bagger by name. You can always take pleasure in people.
• Don't set limits or expectations. YOU decide what pleases you. It doesn't have to be big, small, fancy or humble. It need not take long nor do you have to cram it in fast. Pleasure is whatever works to make you smile, breathe, take it in, sigh, relax, or let it out. What you enjoy is a big part of what makes your life worth living.

"What we have once enjoyed, we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us." --Helen Keller

This is why, as you Pick One Thing, you must pick Pleasure. It is how you come to own your life. We must master the art of creating, finding, and claiming pleasurable experiences for ourselves, every day. If we don't, our day can only range from benign and mediocre to miserable and distressed. What kind of person would knowingly choose that, when pleasure is always possible, always ripe for the picking?

A very displeased one. Don't evereverever let that be you. Pick one bit of something you love, every day. It makes you better, and in turn, you make the world a better place, when you enjoy. When you are taking care of pleasing yourself, it's nice for the rest of us to not have you walking around cranky, bitter, exhausted, sad or worse.

(P.S. Save the wink winking and ooh la las about sexy pleasuring till next time, when we'll be Picking your Sexuality for the next post.)