Gustation. Good.

Gustation rhymes with crustacean.
Crabs and lobsters are crustaceans.
Crabs and lobsters taste good.
Taste is more formally called gustation.
O, let us celebrate gustation with jubilation!
(Gustation. Good. My Poetry. Bad.)

I love food. And drink. In current lingo, I'm a notorious foodie. People tend to question me, "Hey, how do you stay so slim and in good shape if you like to eat and drink so much?" The thing is, I tell them, it's not the eating that I love, it's the tasting. There is a huge distinction. As a weight management coach especially, I need to be clear about it. I have a theory: tasting--assessing, considering, judging, savoring--food could well be what is missing or deficient in the lives of many people who regularly eat too much or eat a poor quality diet. A Fast Food Nation cannot really be one in the same as a Gustation Nation, can it? Because if you taste a lot of different foods prepared in different ways, you won't choose to end up on the side of just eating the same few things wrapped in the same few packages, over and over again, right? It's like, the mountains are beautiful. But look over there, it's the beach. So now that you've seen all that, what, you won't bother looking at a sunset? Don't settle for a rut. You're missing out.

Even more important, I believe that if you actually taste your food with awareness and intent, there's no way you can come up on the side of wanting to eat a bunch of processed food instead of real food. At least, not if the comparisons are fair. Sure, in most cases deep fried hash brown patties from the drive-though will win over unseasoned lima beans at home. But shred your own potato and add some scallion and toast it up in a pan with good olive oil and some fresh cracked pepper, and see which one wins then.

Oh. Wait. You don't know how. You don't have time. Doing that costs more than the Value Browns.

It's true, if you go out to eat at a GOOD place, and order a side of hash browns with carmelized onions, they probably charge you two or three bucks for the pleasure. But you can take that three bucks and buy a couple pounds of red potatoes and a bunch of green onions and make enough hash browns for a crowd, or for the week. Yes you have to stock the olive oil but shut up. You WANT that oil. That oil is the ticket. It'll last you a long time and you'll be much healthier for it, and guess what else?

It tastes better. "Slow" food mostly does.

I do think it's a shame to call the opposite of fast food, slow food, because slow food is usually quite fast indeed, when at it's best. Remember, you had to drive to the fast food place to get the Value Browns. That took time. You had to wait for your turn and get out your money and then pull up to the next window, too. Okay, maybe that didn't take much time unless you went right before they stopped serving breakfast on the weekends. But you did need gas in your car to get there, and that took some time as well as cost some money to get. No different than the time you took to buy the potatoes at the store, right? Plus you were going to the store anyway, at some point, for laundry detergent or a gallon of milk or whatever, so it didn't really take any extra time to get the potatoes after all.

Also, if you had made them at home you could have made extra, for tomorrow and the next day, in no extra time. How much faster then, when you wake up tomorrow and want the Browns, but now you don't have to settle for that drive-through Value crap? AND you don't have to get over there before they stop serving breakfast. Because look at you, Mr. Gustation, you have some much better potatoes already in your fridge that you can crisp up in about two minutes.

I further theorize that it's much harder to be overweight or malnourished when you eat a variety of real wholesome foods you also happen to enjoy. Of course it's possible and it happens, but I say it's more difficult. When you eat a variety of real wholesome foods you enjoy, not only are you more continually satisfied by the contents of your diet, you are also cumulatively benefitting from nourishment and taste -- you're not just eating to eat, or eating to feel better about yourself, or eating whatever you pass by on your way home. You are well-nourished, and taste reminds you. Tasting food also reminds you that your tenth cookie tastes the same as the first, second and third one did. And if you love to dine out and let other people prepare foods for you, like I do, you should set the standard that you want it to be real. Eat well, especially when you're spending that kind of money and time on going out for meals you could do for yourself.

Since there's not all that much you can do to take care of your tongue and lips, other than trying not to burn them or bite them, plus brushing your tongue, and avoiding tobacco, I've decided we should Pick your Sense of Taste, instead of your Mouth.

Go for the Gustation.
It's easy to honor: simply don't shortchange it.

As a fitness professional I must remind you, food is fuel. It's true. But the rest of the truth is, that's not all. Food is also culture. Food is memories, tradition, comfort, ritual. Food is art. Food is luxury. Wanna know what food is for real? Go dig out a picture of you or your child at about 11 months old, with food. In this way we know, food is hair product and face cream and finger paint and mmmmmm. Little bird mouths open every second because here comes the airplane, say uuummmm. To the contrary, find another picture, and we see food can also be wall spackle, spittoon juice, dog communion, or an aversion so volatile it is instantly transformed into projectile weapon against any oppressors who would even dream of suggesting it be consumed.

When you're a baby, you know what you like.

When you get older, you don't know again for a while, because you're busy with other stuff. Like, maybe salmon is a pretty Crayola color but hellno you ain't eatin' any salmon when you're 9 years old. You'd sooner eat the crayon.

When you get older still, if all went well, you were requested to taste a few things before you refused them. You were encouraged to assess, consider, and judge by taste before you declared what you hated. Eventually, you were eating at a friend's house when, out of the blue, turkey tetrazzini appealed to you. You tasted and you loved it, even though it had mushrooms. Even after your mother had left you sitting at the table with a cold hard blob of it untouched on your plate, at least a dozen times.

Suddenly, screw the children's menu with the 99 cent corn dog, cuz that bacon-wrapped filet sounds good. What's bernaise? It has butter? Okay I'll try that too.

Finally, when you're all the way grown up, maybe you get a little confused again. It's too bad, because food is part of your daily life, and it shouldn't be very hard. But, for instance, you might be on a really tight budget. Yet you forget how cheap brown rice is and how great it tastes with also cheap cabbage and bean sprouts, and a couple of satisfying eggs scrambled in with a dab of chili paste for punch. Or, you might be really short on time, with school and work and all, and so you lose sight of how fast and easy it is to make crepe batter. You might never have taken out the crock pot since your bridal shower, so you don't realize pork shoulder goes in it with a bit of beer and onion and turned to low while you're gone all day, so you come back and you didn't do anything but you have fabulous pulled pork you can serve up with some slaw for a tasty end to a busy day.

You store the rest, wash the pot, and make a mental note. Next time you do happen to go out for Chinese or a pulled pork sandwich, you know what you're looking for. Like an 11-month old, you know what you like. And that pork, by the way, will go really well in the leftover crepes, which will store in the fridge for a week or so, to provide you with a couple more fabulous, affordable Fast (Slow) Food lunches.